Soul Fire

in front of it,
hoping he hasn’t seen it too.
    ‘I couldn’t sleep either. I’ve been doing better, lately, but what with the date. . .’ and then he realises, and comes towards me and gives me the biggest of bear hugs.
‘Happy birthday, Alice. A new year. Let’s make it your best, eh?’

29
    My parents take me to lunch at my favourite pizza place. The weather seems to have changed overnight, so it’s warm sitting by the open window. We drink a glass of
champagne each, and Mum hesitates before toasting ‘my two girls’. Dad checks my reaction, and I smile, because it feels like the right thing to do, as though Meggie is here celebrating,
too.
    The waiter appears with a small Victoria sponge loaded with fizzing sparklers, and when the other customers look at our table, it doesn’t feel like they’re staring because they
recognise us from the news.
    At home, I feel woozy from the champagne, and tired from my early morning Beach walk, so I snooze through the afternoon. Then Cara comes round to get me ready for later.
    There’s no party. My sixteenth was cancelled after the police came to tell us the news and to make plans for a party this year felt too much like tempting fate. Instead, we’re having
a few drinks at a new bar she wants to try near the river, with Lewis and with James, Cara’s latest arm candy.
    ‘What did you get, then?’ Cara is brushing my hair so hard it makes my eyes water.
    ‘Driving lessons. A new phone. Plus a cheque.’
    ‘Enough to pay for an end-of-exams trip to Spain?’
    ‘Maybe.’
    She turns me round. ‘You might go, after all? Oh, Alice, it’ll be brilliant!’
    ‘I haven’t decided for sure,’ I say. ‘But maybe someone needs to keep an eye on you.’
    ‘Why?’
    ‘Where do I start, Cara? You’re going to a foreign country with people you hardly know, to try to get off with a guy who is already dating this really intense, slightly scary woman
with muscles like a bouncer’s. Oh, and “the guy” happens to be way too old for you.’
    ‘Ha! I’ve been out with loads of older men. Plus, little miss perfect Alice, Lewis is older than Ade, and his age isn’t stopping you .’
    ‘Lewis is a mate.’
    She laughs at me. ‘Just a mate? Does he know that?’
    ‘Of course.’
    But when the taxi drives straight past the new bar, and stops outside Lewis’s flat, and when he opens the door and I can hear music and see dozens of flickering candles, I wonder if he does know that.
    ‘Surprise!’ he says, and Cara winks at me as we go inside. James – a catalogue model who is ninety-four millimetres too short to do catwalk – is already there. I’ve
never seen the French doors open, didn’t even realise there was anything beyond the wall of adopted plants, but a line of fairy lights leads out onto a square patio, where a table is set for
four.
    ‘Lewis, have you been cooking ?’ Cara says, as though cooking is some kind of perverted hobby.
    He blushes. ‘I raided the chiller cabinet in the supermarket. I know how much you drink, Cara, so I thought I’d provide something to line your stomach, or you’d start singing
and the neighbours would call the police.’
    But the food doesn’t taste mass-produced. Maybe it’s because we’re sitting outside, but the tomatoes taste of summer, and the bread is warm from the oven. The crockery
doesn’t match, and neither do the glasses, but it feels less formal that way and it’s absolutely perfect. Exactly what I wanted, even though I didn’t know it till now.
    James says nothing but looks very pretty, Cara helps herself to wine, and I drink loads of water because the champagne at lunch has left my mouth dry. Lewis keeps getting up to change the music,
top up our drinks, add more candles.
    ‘Relax, Lewis,’ Cara tells him, when he gets up for the fifteenth time. ‘This isn’t a royal banquet.’
    But then he relaxes, and his dry humour makes Cara laugh, and she keeps giving me the thumbs up under the table.
    Finally, when James starts asking Lewis if he can order him some extra-strong growth hormone off the net, Cara gets restless and drags her mini-model off to a club where his lack of conversation
won’t matter. I stay behind to help Lewis clear up.
    ‘No, no. It’s your birthday!’
    But when I sneak back in behind him, I spot the bin’s full of dark blue packaging from the posh deli in town. Even my mum thinks that place is too expensive.
    I don’t know what I do to deserve Lewis. He