Stranger in a Strange Land

Larry would truck the remainder to the house. Jubal felt that this method was far better than soaking suspect packages, opening them in darkness, X-raying them, or any other conventional method.
                Mike loved opening the harmless packages; it made every day Christmas for him. He particularly enjoyed reading his own name on address labels. The plunder inside might or might not interest him; usually he gave it to one of the others-and, in the process, at last learned what "property" was in discovering that he could make gifts to his friends. Anything that nobody wanted wound up in a gully; this included, by definition, all gifts of food, as Jubal was not certain that Mike's nose for "wrongness" extended to poisons - especially after Mike had drunk, through error, a beaker of a poisonous solution Duke had left in the refrigerator he used for his photographic work. Mike had simply said mildly that the "Iced tea" had a flavor he was not sure that he liked.
                Jubal told 'iii that it was otherwise all right to keep anything that caine to Mike by parcel post provided that none of it was (a) ever paid for, (b) ever acknowleged, (c) nor ever returned no matter how marked. Some of the items were legitimatly gifts; more of it was unordered merchandise. Either way, Jubal assumed conclusively that unsolicted chattels from strangers always represented efforts to make use of the Man from Mars and therefore merited no thanks.
                An exception was made for live stock, from baby chicks to baby alligators which Jubal advised her to return unless she was willing to guarantee the care and feeding thereof, and the responsibilitY of keeping same from falling into the pool.
                First class mail was a separate headache. After looking over a bushel or so of Mike's first class mail Jubal set up a list of categories:
                A.  Begging letters, personal and institutionaa-erosion fill.
                B.  Threatening letters-file unanswered. Second and later letters
               
                from any one source to be turned over to S.S.
                C.  Offers of business deals of any nature forward to Douglas
               
                unanswered.
                D.  Crackpot letters not containing threat-Pass around any real
               
                dillies; the rest to go in a gully.
                E.  Friendly letters-answer only if accompanied by stamped, self
               
                addressed envelope, in which case use one of several form
               
                letters to be signed by Jill (Jubal pointed out that
               
                letters signed by the Man from Mars were valuable per se,
               
                and an open invitation to more useless mail.)
                F.  Scatological letters-Pass to Jubal (who had a bet with himself
               
                that no such letter would ever show the faintest sign of
               
                literary novelty) for further disposition- i.e., gully.
                G.  Proposals of marriage and propositions not quite so formal --
               
                ignore and file. Use procedure under "B" on third offense.
                H.  Letters from scientific and educatiional institutions-handle
               
                as under "E"; if answered at all, use form letter
               
                explaining that the Man from Mars was not available for
               
                anything; if Jill felt that a form brushoff would not do,
               
                pass along to Jubal.
                I.  Letters from persons who actually had met Mike, such as all
               
                the crew of the Champion, the President of the United
               
                States, and a few others-let Mike answer them exactlY as
               
                he pleased; the exercise in penmanship would be good for
               
                him and the exercise in humam personal relations he