Surgeon at Arms

Jews, those with un-English sounding names, any he had taken a dislike to, and any he had for some reason never heard of. And Mr. Cramphorn had taken a fierce dislike to the Trevose family. He thought Graham’s treatment of Clare outrageous, and after he had lavished his rabbits on her, too. Desmond, he admitted grudgingly, must be given a job, as the son of a Blackfriars consultant. If that unspoken rule lapsed the whole structure of the hospital might tumble, and there were changes enough in the wind already. But Alec could be sacrificed. In the end, Mr. Cramphorn compromised by making Alec the resident anaesthetist, this speciality, Mr. Cramphorn believed, being reserved for those unfitted for the practice of medicine at all.
    Alec had never administered an anaesthetic in his life, but luckily John Bickley was an indulgent master. He was used to getting the duds. John had been working for Mr. Cramphorn and Mr. Twelvetrees in the general theatres of Smithers Botham itself since his row with Graham, who often enough had wished him back. But he was not a man to relent on his own rashness. Alec was scared of Mr. Cramphorn, but discovered that he treated his anaesthetist exactly as he treated his prewar chauffeur, an underling expected to do his job and keep out of the conversation. Otherwise his new occupation seemed, like the war, ninety per cent boredom and ten per cent panic. He started bringing books into the theatre, reading them hidden in the sterile towels screening the unconscious patient’s head. Having a quick mind he could demolish even a Victorian novel in two or three operating sessions. Alec was never sure of the effects of his anaesthetics on his patients, but he felt they were improving his own mind considerably. He was becoming more intellectual and cultured than ever. Desmond meanwhile performed the duties of a house-surgeon, with much correctitude and distinction.
    Alec’s second problem was his political allegiance. The general election of July 1945 was a nervous experience for the medical profession. Like Henry the Eighth’s monks, the doctors quivered, half in indignation and half in fright, as schemes for their official disposal reached their ears. The hospitals were apparently to be grabbed, not only inefficient little institutions maintained by ladies selling paper flags, but those as proud as Blackfriars itself, even though it most regrettably existed at the time only as a pile of rubble with pretty wild flowers growing on it. It would wreck all the ‘doctor-patient relationship’, everyone declared at Smithers Botham, and though nobody knew exactly what this meant, it was a telling phrase with a ringing note to it, and anyway a substitute for whistling to keep your spirits up.
    How should he cast the first vote of his life? Alec wondered. The newspapers seemed poor instruments of political education. The cartoons at least made the issue simple, between bad bald men in top hats and good clean-cut ones in overalls. ‘The People’ came into it a good deal. Alec rather distrusted The People, who were sadly unintellectual, indeed somewhat dim. Sensitive to the doctors’ vote, the local candidates presented themselves on successive nights in the Smithers Botham assembly hall. The Conservative was plump and confident, and based his persuasion on the fact that the Cabinet were a very decent set of chaps (he had been to school with many of them). The Labour man was hollow-chested and nervously respectful, and based his persuasion on the fact that someone was rude to him in a Labour Exchange during the thirties. Mr. Cramphorn clapped the first oration to the echo, and walked out of the second.
    Alec decided to support Labour, because he learned Desmond was voting Tory. In the end he was too busy in the operating theatre to reach the polls, and the hollow-chested man won handsomely. Mr. Cramphorn stayed at home for a week’s sulk. But worse was in store. He appeared in the theatre at the beginning of August white and trembling. ‘They sang the Red Flag,’ he muttered. ‘Actually in the House of Commons! Good God! Some woman danced in the benches. It’s the end!’ But it wasn’t. The next day a patient addressed him as ‘Mate’. Mate! To Mr. Cramphorn, who had given a lifetime to the curing of the poor, who felt the deepest concern for their ills and pains, just like the old Tsars of Russia for their serfs. Social order and sanity were sliding everywhere. They would be swinging from