Surrender 01 - Surrender

waiting.”
    Realizing that he had to know what the job position was, Ari’s face turned slightly pink as she followed him down the steps to the back door of the Bentley, which looked so out of place in her less than desirable neighborhood. He must think of her as a tramp — or a moneygrubber. The thought was mortifying.
    He held open her door and she quickly climbed in, not daring to meet his eyes again. She truly didn’t know how she was going to do this. It was degrading. The many employees of Mr. Palazzo had to know he hired his lovers the same way he hired the rest of his staff.
    She’d never be able to look any of them in the eye. Did his business colleagues know about it, too? Would she be in a state of infinite embarrassment the entire time and every time she was beside him at business functions ? Would she be mocked?
    What about after he discarded her? She’d forever have this humiliating mark upon her. Even if she managed to get back to school and somehow become a professor, people would know. She could end up with students who were aware she’d once been nothing but a high-priced call girl. She didn’t see the embarrassment’s ever ending, but, with her mother dying, what other choice did she have?
    She’d worked so hard to make something of herself, always being at the top of her class, studying hard, forgoing dating, avoiding the social scene unlike so many other high school and college students. She’d worked hard so she could be proud of herself, and now she was reduced to becoming some man’s mistress.
    She’d always lacked sympathy for people who didn’t live up to her high standards. Whenever she looked beyond the image of them that she fashioned from her preconceptions , she never saw complexities or extenuating circumstances . Victims allowed themselves to be taken advantage of, didn’t they? She was discovering very quickly that the world wasn’t as black and white as she’d always seen it from her privileged vantage point.
    If her mother received the care she needed and got back on her feet, it would be worth it — even if Ari were never able to look herself in a mirror again. She could finally understand why desperate people made shocking decisions.
    “We’re here,” Mr. Kinsor said, snapping her out of her thoughts.
    “Thank you,” Ari murmured as she stepped from the car and looked at the privacy glass of the exclusive restaurant. Her stomach was rolling over as she followed Mr. Kinsor inside, past the host and straight back to a secluded area.
    Sitting at the beautifully set table was Rafe, looking quite devastating in his black Armani suit and brilliant red tie. As she stepped through the doorway, he stood, walking to her chair. It wouldn’t be so bad being his mistress, she tried to tell herself. She could suffer through the actual act of sex; it wasn’t as if she had any desire to enter a real relationship anytime soon, so she could think of it as practice for her future husband.
    “Please have a seat, Arianna. I’ve taken the liberty of ordering.”
    “Thank you.” Irritation covered the increasing panic as she heard the timid sound of her own voice. She was already starting not to recognize herself. Was she truly that far gone? She’d made one mistake — one! Up until that party, she’d been the dream child, achieving the highest grades in her classes, keeping to the straight and narrow through life. She hadn’t sneaked out the window at night, taken drugs or become pregnant like so many others.
    Even in college she’d walked the line, putting her studies first, visiting her mother often, and staying true to the course she’d mapped out by the time she was thirteen.
    Her mother wouldn’t want her to do this — wouldn’t want her to fall at the first hurdle.
    “Have you read through all of the paperwork and do you now have an understanding of the position? If so, we can send you to personnel to have you fill out the necessary paperwork, and you can begin immediately.”
    Ari sat there as she tried to force her mouth to open and give him a simple acceptance. All she had to do was let him know that she understood and could begin her new job immediately. They could fine-tune the details over a nice meal.
    “No.” Ari heard herself say the word, though she couldn’t believe it. Shock radiated through her as she rose from her seat and stood there motionless, looking at him. She’d had every intention of saying yes , serving herself up on a platter .