Surviving High School

around here, closer to my friends.”
    “Yeah,” said Emily. “I can see that. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to move away from Kimi.”
    Thinking of Kimi, Emily suddenly remembered homecoming and the promise she’d made. Her mind raced, turning over ways she might hint that she wanted Ben to ask her to the dance. It was nice to have a new, normal agenda for this conversation, something to put Sara out of her mind.
    “Kimi seems like a fun girl,” said Ben. “I heard she and Phil have been, uh, hanging out lately.”
    Emily could barely believe it. This was a perfect opening.
    “Yeah,” she said. “Phil actually asked her to go to homecoming. Now it’s all she can talk about.”
    “That’s funny,” said Ben, sipping his espresso. “Some girls get so excited about a stupid dance.”
    “You think homecoming is stupid?”
    “Well, yeah,” he said. “Homecoming is basically just a party with no drinking, censored music, and no hooking up.”He stared down at his now-empty cup. “Plus,” he added, “I’m not exactly allowed to go to homecoming. I’m on academic probation, so I’m not allowed to participate in any school activities until I get my grades up, and I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
    So that was it. It wasn’t that Ben didn’t want to go to homecoming. It was that he couldn’t .
    “Is it really so impossible for you to do better in your classes?”
    “Considering I never do any homework, don’t study, and rarely show up to class, I’d say it’s unlikely my grades are going to improve in the near future,” he said, grinning.
    Suddenly, though, Ben’s smile seemed like an act, communicating nothing about what he was actually feeling. The smile was a wall, protecting him. Earlier, for a moment, when they were talking about their families, it had felt as if the wall was crumbling. Now it was back, higher than ever. Could she really be with someone like that? Someone whose real thoughts she could never know? That easy, comfortable feeling she’d had just moments ago had vanished.
    “It’s late,” she said. “I should probably go.”
    “I said something wrong, didn’t I?”
    “No, no,” Emily lied. “I’m just tired.”
    They spent most of the car ride home in silence. Emily looked out the window, trying not to think of crashing and hoping to avoid eye contact with Ben. On the way to the coffee shop, she’d been so excited to hop into a car with him that shehadn’t really considered the danger. Now, that excitement had waned. A week ago, if you had asked her to imagine a bad date with Ben Kale, she would have thought it was impossible. Now, suddenly, she was living one out.
    “Emily—” Ben said as they reached her block.
    “What?”
    “You want to go to that dance.”
    She sneaked a glance at him and saw a worried look on his face. She shrugged.
    “Maybe.”
    “What if it was possible?” he asked as he pulled over to the side of the street near her house.
    “Like what? You somehow change straight F’s into A’s in the next few weeks?”
    “Yeah,” he said. “Something like that.”
    “And you’d be doing this just so you can take me to a ‘stupid dance’?”
    “That would be the idea, yes.”
    “And you really think you can do it?”
    He hesitated for a second, and she could almost see the gears turning in his brain as he attempted to come up with some cocky remark. Finally, though, he just said, “I can try.”
    She turned to look at him again and found him leaning forward. He reached out with one hand, ran it through her hair, and rested it behind her head. Then he closed his eyes and moved closer. He started pulling her in.
    This was it. Her first kiss. Except—except, could she really do it? Did Ben even know she’d never kissed anyone? Emily’sheart began to race from a combination of her first taste of coffee and the very real possibility of her first kiss. What if she was terrible and he thought she was just naturally bad, when really it was because she’d never had any practice? Should he at least know what he was getting into?
    “Wait,” she said, and Ben opened his eyes.
    “Is something wrong?”
    “I’ve just—I’ve never—”
    “Oh!” he said. “You’ve never—” He kept his hand where it was, behind her head, and looked into her eyes. “Well, then, your first kiss should be special.”
    “It should?” she asked. “I mean, yes. It should.”
    “So we’ll wait,” he said. “For the right