Take Me 01 - Love Me

was?
    Love?
    Could he really be falling in love with Janica? He never would have picked her if he'd had a choice.
    Suddenly, he had to wonder, did he have a choice? And if not, what the hell was he going to do?
    He knew he loved being with her, both in and out of bed. He knew that she made him feel happier, lighter. But he didn't know if that was enough.
    If it could ever be enough.
    When he didn't say anything, he felt Lily's hand on his arm. “Tell me what's wrong, Luke. I know she's my sister, and I dearly love both of you, but you can talk to me. I'm your best friend.”
    It was the strangest thing, but her words didn't sit right with him. Suddenly, it hit him why that was.
    “No,” he said slowly. “You're not.”
    Lily looked like he'd slapped her and he quickly reached for her hand. “I'm sorry. I can't seem to say or do anything right today. What I mean is that I know Travis is your best friend now. And that's exactly how it should be.”
    “But that doesn't mean that you and I—”
    He cut her off with a quick brotherly kiss to her forehand. “I love you, Lily. You know that. But right now, you're not the person I need to be talking to.” He looked up at the cabin. “And I have a feeling that if I don't get back up there right now, the woman I owe my explanations to is going to be gone before I get a chance to talk to her.”

Chapter Twenty

    Janica sat on the couch in the living room, her sketchpad on her thighs, her pencil in her hand. More than anything she wanted to bolt, wanted to hide. But she couldn't leave without saying goodbye, like a coward.
    She couldn't leave without seeing Luke one more time.
    She heard footsteps on the stairs and her heart started thumping in an out-of-control rhythm.
    He was barely in the door when he said, “I'm sorry.”
    She swallowed. Licked her lips. Closed her notepad and started to stand up.
    But before she could get to her feet, he was skidding to a stop in front of her on his knees. He put one large hands on her legs.
    “Please, let me try.”
    The warmth of him burned all the way through her body. She couldn't refuse him anything. Not yet.
    Not when she wanted everything so badly.
    Unable to trust her voice, she nodded, and he said, “You asked me some questions a couple days ago. I want to answer them now. Or at least try. I don't know if I know all of the answers yet, but this time we've spent together is helping me figure them out a little bit.”
    This opening up was everything she thought she'd wanted. So then why did she still feel like her heart was barely beating?
    “I came to your apartment that night because I—”
    His voice faltered and her heart ached for him. “You don't need to tell me, Luke.”
    “Don't let me off easy this time, Janica.”
    She felt her eyes widen as she took in his beautiful face. He was asking her to help him. And even though her heart was breaking, she would.
    “I won't.” She paused, before hitting him with, “So why? What happened?”
    He ran one hand through his hair. “I almost killed somebody. A little girl.”
    She couldn't stop her swift intake of breath. But at the same time, she couldn't believe him either.
    “What really happened?”
    “I was exhausted.”
    “I know. I remember how wiped out you were.”
    “I should have gone home, but I stayed at the hospital instead. Because I didn't have any reason to go home.” He reached out, stroked her cheek. “Because I didn't have anyone to go home to.”
    Her mouth crept up in a half-smile of recognition. “I know how that is.”
    “My colleagues were trying to tell me to get some rest, to let them take over, but I wouldn't listen. And then when we were in the OR, I—”
    She leaned over and put her hand over his mouth. “Everybody makes mistakes, Luke.”
    But, oh God, touching his mouth was such a bad idea. Because the only thing she could think to do next was cover it with her lips.
    Taking away her hand, feeling it tremble as she put it back on her lap, she said, “Is she okay?”
    “I called to check in and heard she's doing great. No thanks to me.”
    “Funny,” she said, “I never pegged you for the self-pitying type.”
    His eyebrows went up. “Is that what I'm doing?”
    “Maybe. I wasn't there with you in the hospital, but it sounds like you've already beaten yourself up pretty bad about it. And besides,” she said with a grin that she didn't really feel, “it finally got you to my doorstep, didn't it?”
    “It shouldn't have