Tales of the City 04 - Babycakes

looked a little ruffled. “Old sod.”
“Who?” He took a glass from the kid.
“Over there … ol’ baldie by the bar.”
“What did he do?”
“He gave me fifty P and told me to fetch his golf bags.”
“C’mon.”
“That’s what he said. ‘Fetch me golf bags and tell Bob Hope I’ll meet him at the clubhouse.’ ”
“He must’ve been joking.”
“I told him to stuff it.” Mona appeared.
“Hi, guys.”
“Hi,” said Michael. “Is Bob Hope here?”
“Huh?”
“Somebody told Wilfred that Bob Hope is here.”
She frowned for a moment, then rolled her eyes in recognition. “That man by the bar, right?”
“That’s the one,” said Wilfred.
“That’s the earl,” said Mona. “Teddy’s father. We had a nifty chat about Betty Ford. If you’re nice to him, he’ll introduce you to her.”
Michael was dumbfounded. “Betty Ford is here?”
“Nobody’s here,” she replied. “He’s a sweet old poop, but he’s got one wheel in the sand.” She turned to Wilfred. “You haven’t seen Teddy yet, have you?”
The kid nodded. “He’s breaking the news to Fabia.”
“He’s too nice to her,” said Mona.
“Wait a minute,” said Michael. “Fabia who?”
“Fabia Crisps,” said Wilfred.
Michael could hardly believe it. “She’s here? That woman who …”
“Just button the lip,” Mona told Wilfred. The kid grinned at her and obeyed.
Michael glanced from one to the other, but their bond of silence was unbreakable. Seconds later, Teddy strode into the great hall and joined them, “Oh, Michael … lovely. I’m delighted you could join us.” He turned and addressed Mona. “I think we’ve just about tidied everything up.”
“How did she take it?” asked Mona.
Teddy made a face. “It wasn’t a bit pretty.”
“Can she … do anything?”
“Not a thing, my love. Nothing’s been signed yet.” He hoisted himself onto a seventeenth-century shuffleboard table, commandeering it as a speaker’s platform. “My friends,” he called. “May I have a word with you, please.”
The crowd in the great hall muttered its way into silence.
“Lovely,” said Lord Roughton. “Now … as most of you know, it has been my intention for some time to move to California for the purpose of pursuing my studies in anthropology.”
Wilfred mugged at Michael.
“Just keep quiet, you two,” Mona whispered, looking more dignified than Michael had ever seen her.
“That,” Teddy continued, “compelled me to confront the unhappy prospect of parting with our beloved Easley.” A sympathetic murmur passed through the gathering, “Believe me, I have made every effort to see to it that the house would fall into the hands of people who would honor its … unself-conscious beauty.” Affectionate chuckles erupted here and there as Teddy smiled down at a slight, white-haired woman in a pale green cocktail dress, “That’s what my mother wants … and that’s what my mother assures me my father would have wanted.”
“I thought he was here,” muttered Michael.
“He is,” Mona answered.
“Old sod,” said Wilfred.
“On my last trip to America,” Teddy went on, “I met the exceptional woman who has done me the honor of becoming Lady Roughton.” As he extended his arms in Mona’s direction, the celebrants turned and applauded politely. Mona gave them an uneasy smile and a half-assed little Elizabethan wave.
Teddy beamed at her with genuine affection. “It was this lovely girl who showed me the error of my ways.”
Girl, thought Michael. No one called Mona a girl and lived to tell about it.
Mona saw him smile and reacted silently with a middle finger pressed against her temple.
“To come to the point,” said Teddy, “I have reconsidered the entire matter and decided against selling Easley.”
Thunderous and prolonged applause swept through the great hall.
Teddy seemed enormously pleased. “Mind you, I will still be spending the next few years in California … but my dear wife has gallantly offered to remain here at Easley and run the business of the house … preside over the rent table, as it were.”
“My God,” murmured Michael.
Mona grinned at him and grasped his hand, then gazed up at Teddy again.
“It’s a thankless job, in my opinion … one for which I seem to have increasingly less talent. So I am very grateful that she’s shown such concern not only for the perpetuation of Easley as we know it, but for … the furtherment of my education.” He stooped down and signaled Wilfred.