Tales of the Unexpected

large wart had been faithfully reproduced, and there were live of them in all.
    ‘Now, in the picture there’s
one
above the right eyebrow,’ She looked above the right eyebrow of the cat. ‘Yes! It’s there! In exactly the same place! And another on the left, at the top of the nose. That one’s there, too! And one just below it on the cheek. And two fairly close together under the chin on the right side. Edward! Edward! Come and look! They’re exactly the same.’
    ‘It doesn’t prove a thing.’
    She looked up at her husband who was standing in the centre of the room in his green sweater and khaki slacks, still perspiring freely. ‘You’re scared, aren’t you, Edward? Scared of losing your precious dignity and having people think you might be making a fool of yourself just for once.’
    ‘I refuse to get hysterical about it, that’s all.’
    Louisa turned back to the book and began reading some more. ‘This is interesting,’ she said. ‘It says here that Liszt loved all of Chopin’s work except one – the Scherzo in B flat minor. Apparently he hated that. He called it the “Governess Scherzo”, and said that it ought to be reserved solely for people in that profession.’
    ‘So what?’
    ‘Edward, listen. As you insist on being so horrid about all this, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to play this scherzo right now and you can stay here and see what happens.’
    ‘And then maybe you will deign to get us some supper.’
    Louisa got up and took from the shelf a large green volume containing all of Chopin’s works. ‘Here it is. Oh yes, I remember it. It
is
rather awful. Now, listen – or, rather, watch. Watch to see what he does.’
    She placed the music on the piano and sat down. Her husband remained standing. He had his hands in his pockets and a cigarette in his mouth, and in spite of himself he was watching the cat, which was now dozing on the sofa. When Louisa began to play, the first effect was as dramatic as ever. The animal jumped up as though it had been stung, and it stood motionless for at least a minute, the ears pricked up, the whole body quivering. Then it became restless and began to walk back and forth along the length of the sofa. Finally, it hopped down on to the floor, and with its nose and tail held high in the air, it marched slowly, majestically, from the room.
    ‘There!’ Louisa cried, jumping up and running after it. ‘That does it! That really proves it!’ She came back carrying the cat which she put down again on the sofa. Her whole face was shining with excitement now, her fists clenched white, and the little bun on top of her head was loosening and going over to one side. ‘What about it, Edward? What d’you think?’ She was laughing nervously as she spoke.
    ‘I must say it was quite amusing.’
    ‘
Amusing!
My dear Edward, it’s the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened! Oh, goodness me!’ she cried, picking up the cat again and hugging it to her bosom. ‘Isn’t it marvellous to think we’ve got Franz Liszt staying in the house?’
    ‘Now, Louisa. Don’t let’s get hysterical.’
    ‘I can’t help it, I simply can’t. And to
imagine
that he’s actually going to live with us for always!’
    ‘I beg your pardon?’
    ‘Oh, Edward! I can hardly talk from excitement. And d’you know what I’m going to do next? Every musician in the whole world is going to want to meet him, that’s a fact, and ask him about the people he knew – about Beethoven and Chopin and Schubert –’
    ‘He can’t talk,’ her husband said.
    ‘Well – all right. But they’re going to want to meet him anyway, just to see him and touch him and to play their own music to him, modern music he’s never heard before.’
    ‘He wasn’t that great. Now, if it had been Bach or Beethoven…’
    ‘Don’t interrupt, Edward, please. So what I’m going to do is to notify all the important living composers everywhere. It’s my duty. I’ll tell them Liszt is here, and invite them to visit him. And you know what? They’ll come flying in from every corner of the earth!’
    ‘To see a grey cat?’
    ‘Darling, it’s the same thing. It’s
him
. No one cares what he
looks
like. Oh, Edward, it’ll be the most exciting thing there ever was!’
    ‘They’ll think you’re mad.’
    ‘You wait and see.’ She was holding the cat in her arms and petting it tenderly but looking across at her husband, who now walked over to the french windows and stood