The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared

Director Alice.
    Besides everything else, Allan noted that he had grown naive in his old age. You can’t simply go and die to order. And there was now a considerable risk that the following day, too, he would be woken by that dreadful woman and be served the almost equally dreadful porridge.
    Oh well. There were still a few months to go to one hundred, so surely he would manage to kick the bucket before that. ‘Alcohol kills!’ was how Director Alice had justified the ‘no alcohol’ rule in residents’ rooms. That sounded promising, thought Allan. He’d have to sneak out to the state alcohol shop.
     
    Days passed and turned into weeks. Winter became spring and Allan longed for death almost as much as his friend Herbert had done fifty years earlier. Herbert didn’t have his wish fulfilled until he had changed his mind. That wasn’t a good omen.
    And what was even worse: the staff at the Old People’s Home had started to prepare for Allan’s coming birthday. Like a caged animal he would have to put up with being looked at, sung to and fed with a birthday cake. That was most definitely not something he had asked for.
    And now he had just a single night in which to die.

Chapter 29
    Monday, 2nd May 2005
    You might think he could have made up his mind earlier, and been man enough to tell others of his decision. But Allan Karlsson had never been given to pondering things too long.
    So the idea had barely taken hold in the old man’s head before he opened the window of his room on the ground floor of the Old People’s Home in the town of Malmköping, and stepped out – into the flowerbed.
    This manoeuvre required a bit of effort, since Allan was one hundred years old. On this very day in fact. There was less than an hour to go before his birthday party would begin in the lounge of the Old People’s Home. The mayor would be there. And the local paper. And all the other old people. And the entire staff led by bad-tempered Director Alice.
    It was only the Birthday Boy himself who didn’t intend to turn up. 

Epilogue
    Allan and Amanda were very happy together. And they seemed made for each other. One was allergic to all talk of ideology and religion, while the other didn’t know what ideology meant and couldn’t for the life of her remember the name of the God she was supposed to pray to. Besides, it transpired one evening when the mutual closeness was especially intense, that Professor Lundborg must have been a bit careless with the surgical knife that August day in 1925, because Allan – to his own surprise – was capable of doing what he hitherto had seen only in movies.
    On her eighty-fifth birthday, Amanda’s husband gave her a laptop with an Internet connection. Allan had heard that this Internet thing was something that young people enjoyed.
    It took Amanda some time to learn how to log in, but she didn’t give up and within a few weeks she had created her own blog. She wrote all day long, about things high and low, old and new. For example, she wrote about her dear husband’s journeys and adventures the world over. Her intended public was her lady friends in Balinese society. Who else would find their way to it?
     
    One day, Allan was sitting as usual on the veranda enjoying his breakfast when a gentleman in a suit turned up. The man introduced himself as a representative of the Indonesian Government and said that he had read some amazing things in a blog on the Internet. Now, on behalf of the president, he wished to make use of Mr Karlsson’s special knowledge, if what he had read turned out to be true.
    ‘And what do you want me to help you with if I may ask?’ said Allan. ‘There are only two things I can do better than most people. One of them is to make vodka from goats’ milk, and the other is to put together an atom bomb.’ 
    ‘That’s exactly what we’re interested in,’ said the man.
    ‘The goats’ milk?’
    ‘No,’ said the man. ‘Not the goats’ milk.’
     
    Allan asked the representative of the Indonesian Government to sit down. And then he explained that he had given the Bomb to Stalin and that had been a mistake because Stalin was as crazy as they come. So first of all Allan wanted to know about the mental state of the Indonesian president. The Government representative replied that President Yudhoyono was a very wise and responsible person.
    ‘I am glad to hear it,’ said Allan. ‘In that case I’d be happy to help out.’
    And that’s what he