The Accidental Florist

from a rose. So that’s why I’m going to make the choice of flowers for my bouquet, and the flowers on the dining tables. I’ll write all this down so you can tell her about it. And I’ll also pay for the flowers and mail her a copy of the rules for her fake wedding. So she can’t choose the flowers for the wedding she wants to do. And she can’t suggest what I wear.“
    Mel, looking poleaxed, said, “Could your uncle Jim be my best man? I’ve always admired him.“
    “Good. That’s who I would have suggested. He thinks the world of both of us.
    “So that’s settled.“ She didn’t want to get distracted from her main theme. “There is a fourth set of rules. Your mother can foot the bill for the second wedding. She can choose the food. She can choose the wine and invite mobs of her professional friends. She can’t add bridesmaids who are the wives, girlfriends, or daughters of her rich clients. Same for groomsmen. She doesn’t choose the hotel or church where the wedding will be held.“
    “She’s not going to like this, Janey.“
    “`Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,’ to quote Rhett Butler. It’s our fake wedding. And the bride and her parents make the decisions. I know they would agree with me since your mother has demanded to run the whole thing. You have to stand up to your mother on this or there’s only the one wedding at the judge’s chambers.“
    Mel put his hands over his ears, and suddenly started laughing. “Whatever you say. I wish you could be around when I tell her this. But you can’t be. Because she’s going to be very nasty about it. Will you do me a favor in return?“
    “Probably. What is it?“
    “Wear that gorgeous emerald-colored suit Shelley made you buy. You look beautiful in that. And I want your uncle Jim to be best man for both weddings.“
    “That’s doable. You really are my heart’s desire.“ She started to tear up and Mel put his arms around her and kissed her forehead.
    Jane’s father couldn’t get out of his translating duties for the Danes until the end of July, but her mother could come. Jane found this unacceptable. She didn’t care when the wedding took place and Mel didn’t either. So they’d wait till both of her parents could be there.
    In the meantime, Jane started making lists. What closets would need to be purged? At least two. How many more towels would she need when she was married. “Go for it,“ she said out loud. “Buy all new ones. Blue for him. Pink for me.“
    Another thing was getting the other half of the garage cleaned out. She’d gone to look it over and there wasn’t a thing in the other half that was worth more than a couple of bucks. Old tablecloths that had mildewed, the lawn mower, a leaf blower, a snow blower, even a lot of the kids’ old, dirty, disintegrating toys. If Todd wanted that half a million LEGOs, he’d have to find a different place to store them or give them away to somebody younger.
    Meanwhile, she’d go pick out an attractive shed to put at the side of the house to keep all those tools in. She’d go to Sears and make them bring one out and put it together. Then she’d hire some local teenage boys from the neighborhood to move everything into it. In fact, Shelley’s son, John, would probably be glad to do it for the right amount of money. She’d ask Shelley about it.
    And what about that beat-up desk and disgraceful butt-sprung chair Mel loved to use when he was working at home? Where would that go?
    Todd’s room? He’d moved his desk and bed into Mike’s bedroom. Mike might want it back someday.
    What about extending the house at the back behind the dining room? She could afford it. Thanks to her dead ex-husband’s will, she had a perpetual third interest in the Jeffry family pharmacy because she’d contributed a substantial sum she’d inherited from a great-grandmother when the single Jeffry Pharmacy was about to file for bankruptcy.
    They’d expanded all around Chicago over the years and she’d been able to pay for the kids’ colleges as the Jeffrys’ business spread. Now there were two more nearly ready to open in a pricey neighborhood in St. Louis and another in Indianapolis. She could afford to make Mel his own office. What a good wedding present that would be!
It couldn’t be a surprise, however. He’d want to be involved. And he could figure where the windows would be, where to put his files, the desk and chair, and the old cowboy lamp he’d had as a boy.
    Jane