The Book of Death (Bourbon Kid 4)

recruits.’
    ‘Did you say Dante and Kacy?’
    Vanity sensed a real irritation
in Gaius’s voice. ‘Yeah. You know them?’
    ‘Those two idiots are supposed
to be dead. His name was supposed to be in The Book of Death!’
    ‘You’ve lost me. What are you talking
about?’
    ‘Dante Vittori was hired by me
to try and flush out the monk who was hiding in one of the clans. He’s not even
a vampire. I had him injected with a serum so he could blend in with the clans.
Jesus, Vanity, you’ve had everyone hiding in your fucking clan. How shitareyou when it comes to spotting impostors? His girlfriend wasn’t even
injected with the serum, surely you can see she’s not a vampire?’
    Vanity tugged at his chin beard
again. ‘That’s weird,’ he said. ‘They’re definitely vampires. They even told me
that they drank the blood of Archie Somers last night.’
    It was Gaius’s turn to look
confused. ‘What?’
    ‘I know I thought it was weird
too. Said they found a bag of blood with Archie Somers’s name on it. They found
it at the police station. No idea what it was doing there.’
    Gaius stood up from his desk.
His face was thunderous. ‘You know what Archie Somers did to me, don’t you?’ he
bellowed.
    ‘Erm, he married your daughter
against your will?’ Vanity suggested in as careful a manner as possible,
knowing that there was an element of truth in it.
    ‘Archie Somers, when he was
better known as Armand Xavier, betrayed me. He’s responsible for me being
drugged and then mummified for hundreds of years in that godforsaken tomb at
the museum.’
    ‘Oh. Guess he’s not on your
Christmas list then?’
    ‘Fucking right he’s not! When he
was killed, the curse on me was broken and that’s when I was able to break free
from the tomb at the museum.’
      ‘Well it’s good to see the story has a
happy ending.’
    Gaius ignored the remark and
stared around the room for a few moments, deep in thought. ‘This is
interesting,’ he said finally. ‘At least they didn’t drink his blood from the
Holy Grail. I know that because I’ve got it in my trophy cabinet.’
    ‘The Holy Grail?Seriously ? ’
    ‘Yes, not that it’s any of your
concern. The important thing here is that I never thought I’d get the chance
for revenge on Armand Xavier. But now you’re telling me that his blood is
flowing through the veins of Dante Vittori and that whiny girlfriend of his.
This is an opportunity for some payback. Revenge on Xavier, as well as those
two annoying kids. Where are they now?’
    ‘I told them they could move
into the Swamp with me. Right now they’ve just headed back to a hotel they were
staying at. The girl wanted to pick up some clean clothes. Once they’ve packed
up all their stuff they’re heading back to the Swamp. Want me to get them to
come here?’
    Gaius waved a dismissive hand.
‘No that won’t be necessary,’ he said. ‘I have much bigger plans for them. Gain
their trust for now. This is your chance to redeem yourself, Mr Vanity. In
fact, you just might be able to earn yourself more than a reprieve. You could
seriously work your way up the vampire hierarchy if you help me out here.’
    Vanity had long since given up hope
of weaselling his way up through the ranks in Gaius’s organisation. The
opportunity for more power and the benefits that it might bring appealed to him
immensely. ‘Okay, he said, trying his best to hold back a huge grin. ‘What have
you got in mind?’
    ‘Just play along with them to
start with. Use that legendary hypnotic charm of yours. Feed them whatever
bullshit you have to, and see if you can get them to the Santa Mondega Museum
of Art and History. I’ll get my old tomb prepared for them. Then Armand Xavier
and those two idiots keeping his blood alive can get a taste of what it’s like
to be encased in a tomb for hundreds of years.’
    ‘You’re going to have them
mummified?’
    ‘Poignant, don’t you think?’
    Vanity finally allowed himself
to unleash a beaming grin across his face. ‘I like it,’ he said. ‘It’s
seriously evil.’
    ‘Yes it is,’ said Gaius, in a
more serious tone. ‘But know this, if you fuck this up, if you cross me, or if
I even suspect you’re not on the level, I’ll rip your insides out and hang them
from the walls of that shitty nightclub of yours. You’re in the last chance
saloon, you bearded fuck, and the Devil is ready to call time on you. Is that
clear?’
    ‘Crystal clear, sir. I won’t let
you down on