The Book of Death (Bourbon Kid 4)

summoned to see
Rameses Gaius,’ he said.
    The Panda girl’s expression gave
away nothing. ‘He’s expecting you. Go on in.’
    ‘Thanks.’ He took a deep breath.
He wondered if he looked as nervous as he felt. Before reaching for the door
handle he slipped his hand inside his jacket and pulled out a small hand
mirror. He pretended to check his reflection in it.
    The Panda girl shook her head.
‘You’re a freak,’ she said, finally revealing a playful grin.
    Vanity ignored her and continued
staring into the mirror, stroking his goatee and flicking his wavy dark hair
behind his ears. As a vampire he had no reflection, but the mirror gag always
went down well with the females.
    ‘Maybe you and I could have
dinner some time?’ he suggested, winking at the Panda girl.
    She shook her head. ‘I couldn’t
go out with a man that carries a hand mirror around with him. You’re just too
vain.’
    ‘Don’t diss the mirror,’ said
Vanity, trying not to sound offended. ‘This thing’s an antique, handmade in
Egypt by a powerful witch doctor. It’s indestructible. Even your ugly
reflection couldn’t break it.’
    Panda girl sighed. ‘If they cut
your head off while you’re in there, I’ll ask for it as a souvenir. Go on in,
you freak.’
    He slipped his mirror back into
his pocket and reached for the door handle, adding one last comment as he
turned it. ‘I can see why you’ve got a pair of black eyes.’
    Inside the office, Gaius was
sitting at his desk wearing the same sharp silver suit he had worn during his
rousing speech in the main hall earlier in the day. He was still wearing his
dark sunglasses too. His olive coloured skin gave no indication that he was a
fully paid up member of the undead. No creature of the night would normally
have a tan that healthy. Except maybe for Vanity who had never been one to
worry about applying a thin layer of fake tan.
    ‘Good day to you, Mr Gaius,’ he
said courteously, stepping inside the office. The Panda Girl pulled the door
shut behind him, making him jump inwardly.
    ‘Please take a seat,’ said Gaius
gesturing to a seat opposite him at the desk. Vanity sat down and took off his
sunglasses.
    Gaius leaned back in his black
leather chair. ‘You really fucked up,’ he said.
    ‘I know,’ said Vanity
raising his hands in defence. ‘But if you’ll…’
    ‘Normally you’d be dead already.
You know that, don’t you?’
    ‘I was expecting to wake up with
a horse’s head on my pillow.’
    ‘As opposed to a moose head?’
    ‘Hey, that’s just a rumour!’
    Gaius took off his sunglasses
and tossed them down onto the desk. Vanity tried once more not to get caught
staring at the bright blue eye, which looked kind of weird. He hoped that Gaius
would put his glasses back on.
    ‘You’re alive because I kinda
like you. You’re the only guy in town with weirder eyes than me,’ Gaius went on.
‘And as I understand it, you’re pretty good in a fight.’
    ‘Thank you.’
    ‘But the Bourbon Kid was hiding
in your clan.’
    Vanity nodded. ‘Yes sir. I can
only offer my apologies for that. He blended in well. He actually was a
vampire, and seeing as we didn’t know what the Kid was supposed to look like,
we had no way of knowing it was him.’
    Gaius reached down below the
desk and hauled something up from the floor. He then placed it down on the desk
in front of Vanity. It was a severed head. One that Vanity recognised, just.
    ‘Whose head is this?’ Gaius
asked.
    Vanity grimaced at the sight of
the shrivelled head. ‘That’s Obedience.’
    ‘Obedience?’ Gaius didn’t sound
convinced.
    ‘Yeah. He looks pretty messed up,
but the CUNT tattoo on his forehead is the big give-away. Not too many people
have those.’
    Gaius frowned. ‘So why was he
dressed as the Bourbon Kid?’
    Vanity shrugged. ‘I didn’t know
he was.’
    ‘I was told that the Bourbon Kid
was in your clan, using the name Déjà Vu.’
    ‘That’s what people are saying,
but I haven’t seen Déjà Vu since everything kicked off yesterday. I thought it
was him you’d beheaded.’
    ‘We all did. But as
you’ve just confirmed for me, we beheaded the wrong guy. So do you know where I
can find Déjà Vu?’
    Vanity shook his head. ‘I’d say
he’s gone. Sonofabitch killed the rest of my clan too. Apart from Cleavage,
Moose and a couple of new recruits called Dante and Kacy.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘I’ve only got a handful of
members of the Shades clan left, and two of them are new