The Dark Glamour (666 Park Avenue 2)

life,’ she demanded.
    A bow-tied waiter discreetly deposited a fresh roll on Jane’s bread plate with a pair of silver tongs. She tore it open, releasing a little cloud of steam and flour.
Well, I’m married to a co-fugitive I haven’t seen since our wedding because I found out he was a murderer, and I kind of had a crush on this guy whose sister was nearly killed because of me, so I’m avoiding him and now he seems to be dating my roommate anyway, and then there was this hottie at the bar this afternoon who definitely was flirting with me. No, no, and yes.
‘I actually met someone interesting today,’ she began awkwardly, but didn’t get any further before Laura pounced.
    ‘Oh my God! Already? You don’t waste any time, do you? Tell me everything. What does he look like – wait, did you meet him on the Upper East? I might know him. I mean, I assume he’s, you know . . .
our level,
right? Oh, tell me you’re not rebounding with someone totally inappropriate; it’s so cliché, really. Although I have to admit that the fling I almost had with this
adorable
pool boy in St Barth’s was so hot it
still
gets me through some long nights, so maybe there’s something to be said for inappropriate, as long as you don’t go doing anything silly like marrying him, or leaving a marriage, or bankrolling his “dancing” career.’ She sighed, her pale, watery eyes far away.
    Finally, a story I want to hear!
Jane leaned forward a little in her chair, but this apparently only served to remind Laura that Ella hadn’t answered her barrage of questions yet. ‘So? What’s he like?’
    ‘Different from my ex,’ Jane answered carefully, sweeping some imaginary crumbs from the yellow tablecloth; that much was certainly true. ‘I met him at my hotel, actually. So it was in your – our – neighbourhood, but he’s not from here.’
    Laura clicked her tongue against her laser-whitened teeth. ‘Not local. Bad sign. Unless, of course, he’s from somewhere fabulous and you two could split your time between here and there. I’ve always wanted to try Dubai, haven’t you?’
    ‘We just met today,’ Jane pointed out sensibly, ‘so I think planning our second home together is a little premature. Besides, he’s from Romania. Love the accent, but aside from that, no thanks, you know?’
    ‘Romania?’ Laura was sitting up straight again, her glass frozen halfway to her lips. ‘About thirty, thick black hair, moves beautifully, wears a little too much leather for an American but it totally works on him?’
    ‘He looked a little younger than that, I thought,’ Jane offered lamely, but the rest of Laura’s description sounded suspiciously accurate. ‘He said his name was André.’
    ‘That’s it!’ Laura cheered, drawing surprised looks from some of the closer tables that she seemed completely oblivious to. ‘André Dalcas, cu. I met him last week, and then my mother-in-law basically
forced
me to take his sister shopping yesterday after brunch. Let me tell you: I
needed
that champagne we all had! That Katrin woman barely speaks in full sentences, and she
never
smiles. I mean, I’m all for feminism and all that, but it’s possible to go overboard with the “I am woman, hear me roar” crap, don’t you think? But she goes stomping around like she’s in the middle of World War III. It wouldn’t surprise me if she carried a
gun
in that giant clunky purse of hers, although she’d probably prefer a machete. They don’t let you carry those in New York, do they? Prawn?’
    Jane blinked rapidly, trying to sift through the tangential mess of words. She could rule out the offered prawn right away, which she did with a shake of her head and an ‘I’m full’ pat of her stomach. Laura had definitely mentioned something during brunch the day before about a dreaded trip to Bendel’s, but Jane hadn’t been paying enough attention to remember the context.
How the hell am I supposed to know when she’s telling me something important?
For all she knew, it could eventually become a matter of life and death to know whether New York allowed one to carry a concealed machete – or maybe to know that Laura had never been to Dubai. But it was impossible to retain every detail of Laura’s stream-of-consciousness revelations, so Jane suspected that she would spend most of her time just trying to keep up. ‘You know André, then?’
I think she said that, somewhere in there.
    ‘Oh,
he’s
a catch,’ Laura confirmed,