The Double Silence (Andas Knutas 7)

now his mind was buzzing with contradictory thoughts and worries about both his job and his private life. First and foremost was his concern about Karin. Her personal trauma, the rape and the child that she’d had: her well-kept secret. And also the professional secret that she’d kept to herself for almost a year: the fact that she had allowed a murderer to walk free without saying a word to him about it. Month after month they had worked side by side, talking and joking as usual, solving problems, discussing cases, and not once had she mentioned it to him. They’d had coffee and lunch together – he didn’t know how many times – as if nothing was wrong. And he’d had absolutely no idea.
    On numerous occasions they had talked about the murder case and the hunt for the killer. He had told her about his conversations with Interpol and Europol. How the search was ongoing in several countries. He had talked about the tips that had come in, some more interesting than others. He had shared all the information with her. And the whole time she hadbeen hiding the truth from him. He felt like an idiot. He still didn’t know how to deal with the dilemma. He wished there was someone he could consult. A few times he’d thought of talking to the National Criminal Police inspector, Martin Kihlgård, who had come to Gotland on several occasions to help the Visby police with homicide cases. Martin also knew Karin well. He really should talk to him.
    At the same time Knutas was forced to admit that he was worried not just for Karin’s sake but about himself. He was concerned about the consequences for his own position. He would be accused of letting too much time pass before reporting the matter. And the police investigation would certainly question why he hadn’t discovered earlier that Karin had helped the killer on board the ferry from Gotland. That made him look even more pathetic. Scorn for himself churned in his stomach.
    He began swimming harder to escape from his discomfort. With long strokes he swam towards the end of the pool, keeping his eyes fixed on the tiles. Not looking to either side, where only a few other people occupied the lanes, ploughing through the water just as he was doing, lap after lap. There were seldom many swimmers in the pool at this time of year.
    After finishing a few laps at a furious pace, he slowed down. Depression weighed on him.
    What had so far functioned best in his life wasn’t going very well either. His marriage. Lina had always stood for security in his world, and she was the love of his life. An attractive Dane with red hair that reached to her waist, she loved her job as a midwife and had always been devoted to her family. She was always there when he needed her. Never before had he felt any doubt about their relationship. But lately a change had crept in, and it scared him. They rarely did things together any more. Lina was so busy, and he was too. Days could go by and they wouldn’t even see each other. Knutas had begun to speculate about things that he had previously never questioned, including what Lina said and did. He had started listening in a new way. What they said to each other in the morning, what words were spoken at the dinner table, in front of the TV, in the bedroom. He had become more aware and alert, almost as if he were still on duty. And that bothered him. He’d begun to see Lina in a different light, and allof a sudden he’d discovered new aspects and sides of her personality that he’d never noticed before. He realized that when it came right down to it, his life was no longer the same. He couldn’t take anything for granted. It was possible that things might not be as they seemed, that at any second the ground might begin to shift under his feet. All it took was to alter his perceptions a bit. Make a slight adjustment to the way he viewed the world.
    He recalled a conversation he’d had a few days earlier with an old friend he hadn’t seen for a long time. When the man’s children had left home, he and his wife had sold the house where they’d lived all those years. They had watched their children grow up there, celebrated birthdays, weddings and graduations. Over the years, they had experienced so much in that house, both sorrows and joys. Knutas’s friend told him that when they moved out, it felt as if their whole world was turned upside down. He saw his wife in a new light, as well as his job and his friends – in fact, his entire life. He