The Empty Chair

that she was famished. Garrett poured the contents into two bowls and handed her a spoon. She spit on the utensil and wiped it on her shirt. They ate for a few minutes in silence.
    Sachs noticed a sound outside, a raucous, high-pitched noise. “What’s that?” she asked. “Cicadas?”
    “Yeah,” he said. “It’s just the males make that noise. Only the males. Make all that noise just from these little plates on their body.” He squinted, reflected for a moment. “They live this totally weird life. . . . The nymphs dig into the ground and stay there for, like, twenty years before they hatch. Then they come out and climb a tree. Their skin splits down the back and the adult crawls out. All those years in the ground, just hiding, before they come out and become adults.”
    “Why do you like insects so much, Garrett?” Sachs asked.
    He hesitated. “I don’t know. I just do.”
    “Haven’t you ever wondered about it?”
    He stopped eating. Scratched one of his poison oak welts. “I guess I got interested in them after my parents died. After that happened I was pretty unhappy. I felt funny in my head a lot. Confused and, I don’t know, just different. The counselors at school just said it was because Mom and Dad and my sister died and they, like, told me I should work harder to get over it. But I couldn’t. I just felt like I wasn’t a real person. I didn’t care about anything. All I did was lie in bed or go into the swamp or the woods and read. For a year that’s all I did. Like, I hardly saw anybody. Just moved from foster home to foster home. . . . But then I read something neat. In that book there.”
    Flipping open The Miniature World, he found a page. He showed it to her. He’d circled a passage headed Characteristicsof Healthy Living Creatures. Sachs scanned it, read several of the list of eight or nine entries.
    —A healthy creature strives to grow and develop.
    —A healthy creature strives to survive.
    —A healthy creature strives to adapt to its environment.
    Garrett said, “I read that and it was like, wow, I could be like that. I could be healthy and normal again. I tried totally hard to follow the rules it said. And that made me feel better. So I guess I felt close to them—insects, I mean.”
    A mosquito landed on her arm. She laughed. “But they also drink your blood.” She slapped it. “Got him.”
    “Her,” Garrett corrected. “It’s just the females drink blood. The males drink nectar.”
    “Really?”
    He nodded then grew quiet for a moment. Looked at the dot of blood on her arm. “Insects never go away.”
    “What do you mean?”
    He found another passage in the book and read aloud, “ ‘If any creature could be called immortal it is the insect, which inhabited the earth millions of years before the advent of mammals and which will be here on earth long after intelligent life has vanished.’ ” Garrett put the book down and looked up at her. “See, the thing is, if you kill one there’re always more. If my mom and dad and sister were insects and they died there’d be others just like them and I wouldn’t be alone.”
    “Don’t you have any friends?”
    Garrett shrugged. “Mary Beth. She’s sort of the only one.”
    “You really like her, don’t you?”
    “Totally. She saved me from this kid who was going to do something shitty to me. And, I mean, she talks to me. . . .” He thought for a moment. “I guess that’s what I like about her. Talking. I was thinking, like, maybe in a fewyears, when I’m older, she might wanta go out with me. We could do things like other people do. You know, go to movies. Or go on picnics. I was watching her on a picnic once. She was with her mother and some friends. They were having fun. I watched for, like, hours. I just sat under a holly bush with some water and Doritos and pretended I was with them. You ever go on a picnic?”
    “I have, sure.”
    “I went with my family a lot. I mean, my real family. I liked it. Mom and Kaye’d set the table and cook stuff on this little grill from Kmart. Dad and me’d take our shoes and socks off and stand in the water to fish. I remember what the mud felt like and the cold water.”
    Sachs wondered if that was why he liked water and water insects so much. “And you thought you and Mary Beth would go on picnics?”
    “I don’t know. Maybe.” Then he shook his head and offered a sad smile. “I guess not. Mary Beth’s pretty and smart and a bunch older than me.