The Flesh Cartel #9: Trials and Errors

endure because it was his duty, and performing that duty made Nikolai happy.
    Not today though, luckily. Today was lazy and long and Dougie was warm and safe and happy, drifting yet still anchored.
    It was because of this drifting that it took a moment for him to realize Nikolai was speaking, and he flared with panic and self-recrimination— What if I missed something important? How could I let myself lose focus on my master? —but Nikolai didn’t sound angry at all.
    “—special planned for you today, Douglas. A challenge. I’m afraid that you may not like it, but I have full faith that you’ll make me proud.” A hand reached down, gently stroking Dougie’s hair, which had grown floppy. He’d never worn it long before, but then, he’d never worn women’s underwear or played cock-warmer before, either. “Because you’re my good boy, aren’t you Douglas?”
    Dougie hummed around the cock in his mouth and leaned his head into Nikolai’s stroking hand. My good boy . They were the sweetest, most joyous words he could ever hope to hear, and yes, of course Dougie would perform, of course he’d make his master proud. He’d be absolutely brilliant. He’d do so well that Nikolai would never doubt him again.
    Even if, sometimes, in the darkest, most quiet hours of the night, he occasionally—maybe a little—still doubted himself. That soft insidious voice he couldn’t quite silence, the one he thought of as “Before” Dougie, the frightened, lonely, aimless child striving desperately, futilely, for everything Nikolai gave him so freely. But like most children, its voice was shrill when it was angry, when it demanded attention, when it shouted words like Stockholm Syndrome and he trusts you now, use it to your advantage and run away before it’s too late.
    He tapped frantically at Nikolai’s thigh, and the hand in his hair tugged gently back, giving him the permission he’d sought to speak. “It’s happening again, master,” he whispered the moment Nikolai’s cock left his mouth. He missed it already, wanted to chase it back, but this was important, and Nikolai would fix it; he always did.
    Nikolai pushed his chair back. Then a second hand came down to cup Dougie’s face, urged him forward out of the keyhole and tilted his head back until he was looking up into Nikolai’s eyes. “Shhh,” his master said. Stroked his hair, his cheek. He didn’t want or deserve this kindness; he wanted, needed Nikolai to turn him over his lap and punish him until his screams were louder than that damn voice . “Fight it, Douglas. Use your logic. You’re too smart to let it mislead you.”
    No, no, he wasn’t, not right now with that gaping chasm of doubt the voice had dug in his chest. He couldn’t think, couldn’t focus, couldn’t bring his hammering heart under control. He clung to Nikolai’s pants, closed his eyes, and tried to narrow his world to the feel of his master’s loving hands on his face, the warmth of his master’s body, the residual taste of his master’s cock on his tongue.
    “This challenge I’ve planned for you will help, Douglas.”
    Challenge. Test. Oh God, how could he perform a test right now? He’d fail. The voice would rise up and distract him and make him doubt and he’d fail .
    “Easy, Douglas, easy.” Fingers stroking at his hair, thumbs caressing his cheeks. “I’ll give you a correction afterward, if you still need it. But not now.” Yes. Now. Please. “Now I need you to find your center on your own. Prove to me you can.”
    Dougie squeezed his eyes tight, clenched his hands into hard fists until his trimmed fingernails dug into the skin of his palms. My master’s hands. My master’s warmth. The taste of my master’s cock. You’re a good boy, Douglas, such a good boy . . .
    His breathing slowed. His heart calmed. Nikolai believed in him, and if his master believed in him, then he could believe in himself.
    “There, there, good boy. That’s a good boy,” Nikolai recited, hands gentling Dougie down. Once Dougie’s cheek was to Nikolai’s thigh and his breathing had quieted, Nikolai said, “Now. Today you’re going to learn to perform with another slave for your master’s pleasure.”
    Well jeez, that didn’t sound so bad at all. Had the real test been Dougie’s reaction to hearing his master say that it was a challenge Dougie wouldn’t like? It was true that Dougie liked sex with his master best, but he could do anything just so long as he knew