The Forever of Ella and Micha
friend in the back, she thought it was too important not to tell me what Ella told her, after a lot of shots of tequila. She made the whole thing up. Said she did it because she wants you to be happy and in her eyes you can’t be happy with her. Whatever the fuck that means. I never really understood half of the things she did—or does.”
My arms fall to my side, unsure whether to be pissed off or relieved. “Let me get this straight. She lied, told me she cheated on me, just so she could break up with me.”
Ethan surrenders his hands up in front of himself. “Don’t get pissed off at the messenger.”
“I’m not pissed off.” I sit down on the edge of the bed and drape my arms on my knees. “I’m confused as hell.”
Ethan picks up a photo of the band from off the table and examines it. “That would make two of us.”
I flex my hands and pop my neck. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”
Setting the photo down, he deliberates it. “You feel like taking a road trip?”
“Is the wedding this weekend?” I sink back against the wall and fiddle with my lip ring. “Do you feel like driving my sorry ass to Chicago and back?”
He shrugs. “I got nothing better to do.”
“Alright then.” I grab my empty bag off the floor and start stuffing it with clothes. “Let’s go on a road trip.”
Ella
Lila and I are getting ready to head out to the wedding. We rented a car for the trip, a midsize one this time, but it still takes forever to hit sixty.
Before we head out though, I make one last visit with my therapist. Anna felt it was important, considering I just had a nervous breakdown only a week ago.
My head is clear now, or at least partially, but it makes no sense to me what happened or why I said those terrible things to Micha. It made sense at the time, but it was like I was in a dream and when I woke up, the consequences punched me in the stomach. I considered calling him and apologizing, but I can’t work up enough courage.
“You’ve been doing better then?” she asks, jotting in a notebook. “There hasn’t been any exhaustion or headaches, sensitivity to light?”
I shake my head. “I’ve been feeling okay and the medication seems to be helping.”
“Good, I’m glad.” She puts her pen back in the black ceramic cup with the other pens. “And remember what I said: act out, yell, scream, cry, whatever you need to do to get it out. Repressing it is where a lot of your problems come from.”
I nod. “I’ll remember that, I promise.”
“If you need anything at all while you’re on your vacation, call me.” She hands me her card with her phone number on it and I put it in my purse. “And I mean that, Ella. Call me, even if it’s just to talk about the chicken you ate.”
I get up from the chair. “Chicken?”
“They always have chicken at weddings.” She smiles, but then she grows serious. “Remember, just breathe and take things one step at a time. Don’t rush life. You need to take it easy for a while and focus on yourself.”
“I will,” I promise her and walk out the door, carrying her words of wisdom with me.
“I have to say that this is seriously the prettiest wedding I’ve been to.” I take in the black and purple candles on the table and the flower petals scattered on the white table clothes that layer each of the eight tables.
The wedding is taking place outside, underneath a white canopy in the backyard of Caroline’s parent’s house, who live in a two-story mansion with columns and a wraparound porch. I dreamed of living in one of these houses when I was a little girl, but then I turned six and painfully realized that it wasn’t possible.
“What’s the plan for tonight?” Lila glances down at the Rolex on her wrist. “I mean the wedding’s tomorrow, but still, I don’t just want to sit around and watch them set everything up. I want to have some fun.”
“I don’t think we’re obligated to do anything.” I twist the cap off my soda and take a swig. “I already got fitted for my bridesmaid’s dress, which is
so
weird.”
Her face contorts with confusion. “Why’s that weird?”
I screw the cap back on the bottle. “Because Caroline hardly knows me, so I don’t understand why she wants me as one of her bridesmaids.”
“You’re going to be her sister-in-law, Ella.” Lila scoops up a handful of petals and sprinkles them back onto the tablecloth. “And she seems really nice.”
I glance over at Caroline talking to
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