The Forever of Ella and Micha

other. She’ll get there eventually, once she understands what love is.
    When I call out “I love you” as she heads for the hallway and she returns it with only a smile, it stings a little.

Ella
    Ethan lectured me the entire time I packed my bag and then his face got really red when I announced I had to go see my therapist before we took off. I need to talk to her, though, about my revelation last night. Ever since I was a little kid, I thought love wasn’t real. Then Micha showed me differently, but I still couldn’t love him like he deserved.
    Whether intentional or not, my dad’s letter released me from some of the burden I’d been carrying. Not all of it, but some, and last night when I was curled up beside Micha, I envisioned something I’d been blind to.
    A hope for a future.
    Anna is locking up her office door when I arrive. “I thought I was supposed to meet you?”
    She whirls around, pressing her hand to her heart, her eyes amplified as her keys fall from her hands to the floor. “Good God, you scared me.”
    I scoop up the keys and hand them to her. “I’m sorry. I just thought we had an appointment today.”
    She drops her keys into her purse. “I was actually getting ready to call you. I got a call from my sister and she needs me to come over a couple days early. She’s very worried about hosting Christmas dinner for everyone.”
    We make our way down the hallway of the school and push out through the doors, which latch shut behind us. It’s a cloudy day and the violent breeze cools my skin and stings my cheeks.
    “So I guess I’ll see you when you get back,” I say, getting ready to leave her and cut across the grass toward my apartment.
    She turns for the parking lot, but stops at the curb. “Of course, first thing on Monday. And make sure to call me if you need anything.”
    Ethan’s lifted truck drives up to the sidewalk and he lays on the horn. Anna’s eyes dart toward it and the heel of her shoe catches in the grass, causing her to trip.
    I sigh and redirect my direction to the truck. “Sorry about that. He just gets kind of antsy.”
    “Are you going somewhere?” She frees her shoe from the grass and steps back up onto the sidewalk.
    I nod. “I decided to go with Micha and Ethan back home.”
    She does the buttons of her navy blue jacket up. “That’s good. I’m glad you decided to go.”
    I shield the wind from my face with my hand. “Why? I thought you said you weren’t sure if I should.”
    “No, I said only you would know if you should.” She pauses and wisps of her short hair flap in the breeze. “Ella, can you do something for me on this vacation?”
    “Sure, what?”
    “Stop worrying so much and have fun. It’s what you need,” she says with a smile.
    “I do have fun… sometimes.”
    “Well, try to have fun the entire time.”
    I pluck bits of my hair out of my mouth as I take in her words. “You remember what you said about being in a relationship with Micha and that only I would know when I was ready. Well, I think I’m ready. I know it’s really soon and everything, but last night, well, I saw a glimpse of a future with him that I really, really wanted. And that’s never happened to me before.”
    She doesn’t look upset, like I’d expected she would. “That’s good. I’m glad you were able to see that. But remember to take things as slow as
you
need to. I want you to focus on yourself.” She waves and walks across the grass toward the parking lot. “Have fun, Ella, and I mean it. You deserve to.”
    Fun? Is that the magic cure to repair my mind? I tuck my chin in and fight against the wind, heading toward the car—heading home.

    Road trips with Ethan and Micha are a pain in the butt. I forgot about the guys’ “no bathroom stop” rule: they’ll only stop, like, every four hours for a break. If there isn’t a restroom close by, then they consider a bush a good substitution.
    It doesn’t bother me that much, but poor Lila isn’t used to their crap. We’re sitting in the back of the truck on opposite sides and she’s bouncing up and down, jiggling her legs to hold it in.
    “Just pull over.” I slap the side of Ethan’s arm for being an asshole and refusing to pull over. “She’s not going to pee off the side of an off-ramp.”
    “I’ll back the truck up, so it blocks her,” he replies, stunning Lila. “No one will see.”
    “I don’t think…” Lila presses a look at me for help.
    I unbuckle my seatbelt and lean