The Funhouse

Not until college is behind me.”
        “Sure, sure,” Liz said.
        “I mean it.”
        “Take it at your own pace, honey. Anyway, we'll sure have some fun with my old man and old lady out of town.”
        “And the county fair is next week,” Amy said.
        “Hey, yeah! I really get off on smoking some good dope and then hopping on those thrill rides.”
        “I suspect you would.”
        “And did you ever get high and then go through the funhouse, with all those fake monsters jumping out at you?”
        “Never did,” Amy said.
        “It's hilarious.”
        “I'll look forward to it,” Amy said.

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    10
        
        Janet Middlemeir was a safety engineer for the county. Her job was to make certain that all public buildings-courthouses, firehouses, libraries, schools, sheriff's substations, government-subsidized sports arenas and stadiums, and so forth-were at all times clean, well lighted, and safe for both visitors and workers. She was responsible for the inspection of the structural integrity of those buildings as well as for the condition and suitability of all machinery and all major nonmechanical equipment within their walls. Janet was young, only a few years out of college, only two years on the job, and she was still as dedicated to her work as she had been when she had first started, her duties seemed almost holy to her, and the words “public trust” still held some meaning for her, even if they didn't mean much to some of the people with whom she worked in the county and state bureaucracies. She had not yet been a public employee long enough to be tainted by the inevitable corrupting influences that were attendant to any government program. She cared .
        On Monday, June 23, when the carnival came to Rockville, Maryland, Janet Middlemeir presented herself at the office-trailer that provided working space for Mr. Frederick Frederickson, the silver-haired owner and operator of Big American Midway Shows. With characteristic directness and crispness, Janet stated her intention of going through the lot from one end to the other, until she was fully satisfied that the thrill rides and the other large attractions were safely erected. She would not approve the opening of the carnival if she felt that it represented a threat to the well-being of the citizens of her county.
        She was pushing her authority a little bit, perhaps even exceeding it. She wasn't entirely sure that the carnival's equipment came under her jurisdiction, even though it stood on the county-owned fairgrounds. The law was vague on that point. No one from the county Office of Public Safety had ever inspected the carnival before, but Janet felt she couldn't shirk that responsibility. Just a few weeks ago a young woman had died when a carnival ride had collapsed in Virginia, and although that tragic accident hadn't happened on the lot of Big American Midway Shows, Janet was determined to put Big American under a microscope before the fairground gates swung open.
        When she stated her intentions to Mr. Frederickson, she was afraid that he would think she was trying to shake him down, and she didn't know quite how she would handle him if he tried to bribe her. She knew that carnivals employed a man whose job it was to bribe public officials, they called him the “patch” because he went into town ahead of the show and patched things up with the police and certain other key government employees, lining their pockets with folding money and books of free tickets for their friends and families. If a patch didn't do his job, the police usually raided the midway, closing down all the games, even if it was a straight carnival that didn't dupe the marks out of their money, unpaid and angry about it, the police could shutter even the cleanest girly shows and legally declare the thrill rides hazardous, quickly and effectively bringing the carnival to its knees. She didn't want the people at Big American to think she was after a fast buck.
        Fortunately, Mr. Frederickson was a well-educated, well-spoken, courtly gentleman, not at all what she had expected, and he both recognized and admired her sincerity. No bribe was offered. He assured her that his people were as concerned about the health and safety of their customers as she was, and he gave her permission to poke around in every corner of the midway for as long as she liked. Frederickson's superintendent of transportation, Max