The Ghost and The Haunted Mansion: A Haunted Bookshop Mystery

room at a hotel in Newport. But the drive there was difficult. Timothea hadn’t been inside a car in decades, and the farther from Quindicott we traveled, the more agitated she became.”
    Sadie sighed. “The poor woman.”
    “When we arrived at the hotel, I did my best to make Timothea comfortable, but she nearly suffered a nervous breakdown. I finally called in a physician. He thought it best to sedate her. Miss Todd spent most of that time in bed.” Stoddard shrugged. “But once we got Miss Todd back home, things returned to normal.”
    “Except that she began to hear strange noises,” I said.
    “Actually, that was many months later, Mrs. McClure.”
    “What kind of noises did she hear?” I pressed. “At what time of day or night did she hear them? In what part of the house?”
    Easy, baby! Slow down! You’re spooking him!
    Annoyance flashed across Stoddard’s face. “I really don’t know.”
    “Surely Miss Todd must have mentioned—”
    Stoddard shifted in his chair, glanced at his watch. “I do apologize, but we’re going to have to cut this short. Mr. Tarnish and I still have plenty of work to do.”
    I gritted my teeth.
    “Don’t worry, Pen,” Seymour said. “I know just what I’m going to do about those ‘strange’ noises.”
    Stoddard leaned forward. “What’s that, Mr. Tarnish? Sell?”
    “Heck, no! I’m going to call the Spirit Zappers!”
    Sadie and I exchanged glances. “Who?” I asked.
    “The Spirit Zappers!” Seymour repeated. “Oh, come on! Don’t tell me you never saw their cable TV reality show?”
    I glanced at Stoddard. He shrugged. I turned to Seymour. “We need more.”
    Seymour rolled his eyes. “ Spirit Zappers is a hit prime-time show on the Alternative Universe network.”
    “Oh, yes!” Sadie said. “You remember, Pen. Spencer had us watch the Secrets of Pompeii last week on that network. Very interesting.”
    “Not half as interesting as their other programs,” Seymour said, “like Big Bill Big-Foot Hunter , U.F.O. Sightings: We Believe You! , and, of course, Medium at the Mall —a psychic reads the minds of random shoppers at gallerias across America. But my all-time favorite has to be Exorcise My Child. ”
    “What’s that show about,” I asked, “fighting childhood obesity?”
    “No, Pen, not exercise. Exorcise! It’s kind of like Super-Nanny but with demonic possession.”
    Sadie appeared horrified. I was still confused: “So what do the Spirit Zappers do exactly?”
    “They pretty much zap spirits like an exterminator zaps bugs. They de-haunt houses, Pen! I’ll call them up tonight and make an appointment for them to zap Miss Todd’s mansion. Hey, you know what? While I’m at it, I’ll ask them to zap the entire town of Quindicott! Fiona says Finch Inn is haunted and your bookstore is supposed to be haunted, too, right?”
    “NO!” I said, a little too forcefully.
    Seymour stared. “Why the heck not? Listen, after they banish the ‘spirits’ from your bookstore on national television, you’ll be swamped with new customers!”
    Jack’s chilly presence was getting colder by the second. Will somebody tell this Alvin to put a sock in it.
    As if he’d heard Jack, too, Stoddard loudly cleared his throat. “Yes, well, let’s move on, shall we?” He reached for a second file and handed it to Sadie. “This is a list of the books Miss Todd has bequeathed you. There are several hundred first-edition mystery novels and true-crime volumes dating back to the 1950s. I’ve made arrangements to have them boxed and delivered to your store by the close of business this Friday.”
    Sadie placed the file in her lap. “Thank you.”
    “I see no reason to dally, do you? Miss Todd’s wishes were clear.”
    “Funny,” I told Jack. “Her wishes were clear about the disposition of the house, too, but Mr. Stoddard seems willing to forgo that.”
    Yeah, baby. He does.
    “It’s obvious Miss Todd didn’t want her house sold to strangers. Yet Stoddard’s ready, willing, and able to broker a deal for Seymour.”
    There’s a lot less bucks in old books than in hot real estate.
    “And Stoddard keeps pretending the mansion isn’t haunted. But I felt that cold spot myself. Do you think it’s possible for a living person to manipulate a ghost into scaring someone to death?”
    Jack didn’t answer.
    Emory Stoddard checked his watch again. “That concludes my business with you ladies,” he said, punctuating the point by rising from his