The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

not feeling it."
    Val turned to Gabe. "That's not very romantic."
    "It's incredibly exciting. This may be the most elegant predator that the world has ever seen."
    Theo shook his head. "I have no home, no job,no car, there's probably a warrant out for my arrest, and you want me to be excited over the fact that we have a monster in town that makes you horny so he can eat you? Sorry, Gabe, I'm missing the positive side of this."
    Val chimed in, "It may be the reason that you've been able to quit smoking pot so easily."
    "Pardon me?Easily?" Theo wanted to jump off the couch and bitch-slap them both.
    "Were you ever able to go this long before?"
    "She could be right Theo," Gabe said. "If this thing affects serotonin, it could affect other neurotransmitters."
    "Oh good," Theo said. "Let's open a detox clinic. We'll feed half of the patients to the monster and the other half will recover. I can't wait."
    "There's no need to be sarcastic," Gabe said. "We're just trying to help."
    "Help?Help with what? Bar fight? I can handle it. Skateboard theft? I'm on it. But my law enforcement experience hasn't prepared me for dealing with this."
    "That's true, Gabe," Val said. "Theo's little more than a rent-a-cop. Maybe we should call the sheriff or the FBI or the National Guard."
    "And tell them what?" Theo asked.Rent-a-cop? I'm not even that now, he thought.
    "He has a point." Gabe said. "We haven't seen anything."
    "That old Blues singer has," Val said.
    Theo nodded. "We need to find him. Maybe he'll…"
    "He's living with Estelle Boyet," Val said. "I have her address in my office." twenty-four
    The Sheriff Sheriff John Burton stood by the ruins of Theo's Volvo, pounding the keys of his cell phone. He could smell the cow shit he'd stepped in coming off his Guccis and the damp wind was blowing cowlicks in his gelled silver hair. His black Armani suit was smudged with the ashes he'd poked through at Theo's cabin, thinking there might be a burned body underneath. He was not happy.
    Didn't anybody answer their goddamn phone anymore? He'd called Joseph Leander, Theophilus Crowe, and Jim Beer, the man who owned the ranch, and no one was answering.Which is what had brought him to Pine Cove in the middle of the night in a state of near panic in the first place. The second shift of crank cookers should be working in the lab right now, but there was no one around. His world was falling down around him, all because of the meddling of a pothead constable who had forgotten that he was supposed to be incompetent.
    Crowe's line was ringing.Burton heard a click,then was immediately disconnected. "Fuck!" He slammed the cell phone shut and dropped it into the pocket of his suit jacket. Someone was answering Crowe's phone. Either he was still alive or Leander had killed him, taken his phone, and was fucking with him. But Leander's van had been parked at Crowe's cabin? So where was he? Not at home,Burton had already checked, finding nothing but a sleepy babysitter and twogroggy little girls in nightgowns. Would Leander run and not take his daughters?
    Burtonpulled out the phone and dialed the data offices at the department. The Spider answered.
    "Nailsworth," the Spider said.Burton could hear him chewing.
    "Put down that Twinkie, you fucking tub of lard, I need you to find me a name and an address."
    "It's a Sno Ball. Pink. I only eat the marshmallow covers."
    Burtoncould feel his pulse rising in his temples and made an effort to control his rage. In the rush to get to Pine Cove, he'd forgotten to take his blood pressure medication. "The name is Betsy Butler. I need a Pine Cove address."
    "Joseph Leander's girlfriend?" the Spider asked.
    "How do you know that?"
    "Please, Sheriff," the Spider said with a snort. "Remember who you're talking to."
    "Just get me the address."Burton could hear Nailsworth typing. The Spider was dangerous, a constant threat to his operation, andBurton couldn't figure out how to get to him. He was immune to bribes or threats of any kind and seemed content with his lot in life as long as he could make others squirm.
    AndBurton was too afraid of what the corpulent information officer might really know to fire him. Maybe some of that foxglove tea that Leander had used on his wife. Certainly, no one would question heart failure in a man who got winded unwrappinga Snickers.
    "No address," Nailsworth said."Just a P.O. box. I checked DMV, TRW, and Social Security. She works at H.P.'s Cafe in Pine Cove. You want the address?"
    "It's