The meanest Flood

and you get outright aggressive.’
    ‘Stop!’ Sam told him, taking the frying pan off the cooker and holding it with two hands.
    ‘Is that a threatening gesture?’ Geordie said. ‘Or is that a threatening gesture.’
    ‘I’m taking it to the John,’ Sam said.
    ‘If you could see yourself objectively, Sam, really, this is ridiculous.’
    Sam set off down the narrow corridor, taking the frying pan with him.
    ‘OK, I’ve stopped,’ Geordie called.
    Sam turned. ‘Am I worked up?’
    ‘Not at all. No.’
    ‘Do I need to see a Jungian therapist?’
    ‘Would be a waste of time and money,’ Geordie said. ‘Therapists - what do they know?’
    ‘Have you got the plates ready?’ Sam said, arriving back in the kitchen with a grin on his face.
    ‘Yeah,’ Geordie said, sitting at the table. ‘Oh, the smell. Can’t remember when food smelled so good.’
    After the food Sam poured the coffee and sat back in his chair. ‘You know what he makes me feel, this guy?’
    ‘The killer?’
    ‘He makes me feel numb. I can’t stand far enough back from it to get a handle. I want to be able to say, “OK, the guy is killing these women because of their involvement with me.” But as soon as I start to think about it, I see their faces, I remember when we were young and together. All those memories come flooding in and then I can’t see the wood for the trees.’
    ‘Mixed metaphor,’ Geordie said.
    ‘What?’
    ‘It’s a mixed metaphor. You start off with a flood and end up with woods and trees.’
    Sam’s mouth fell open. ‘Are you listening to what I’m saying?’
    ‘Yeah, I hear you. I just pointed something out.’
    ‘I’m trying to stay calm, here, Geordie. I don’t want an English lesson right now.’
    ‘OK, I’m listening. All those memories come flooding in and you’re swamped. It’s like you want to concentrate on the foundation of the crime, get to the guy’s motivation. But the flood of memories rises so high you can’t see the foundations any more.’
    ‘Right. Which is one of the reasons I brought you here. I need somebody who can be objective, somebody who can keep me objective.’
    ‘Thank you. I appreciate that,’ Geordie said. ‘I appreciate that you appreciate my objectivity. That’s one thing. And the other thing is that it’s Scandinavia. Which means I’ve really been abroad, not just to Amsterdam.’
    ‘Tell me what you know about the killer.’
    ‘It’s probably a guy,’ Geordie said. ‘There are women serial killers but not many of them so almost certain to be a man. He’s killing women who have been married to you or who you’ve lived with and he’s arranging it to look as though you’ve done it. First he murdered Katherine Turner when you were in Nottingham, then he arranged for you to be in the same street as Nicole Day in Leeds at the exact time she was killed. What I get from that, the guy has got a real boner for you.
    ‘You must’ve upset him big time, which you’re good at, upsetting people. But this one, I can’t imagine what you did to him. Maybe you should write down everybody you’ve ever got under their skin. Try to think of the guy in the world you’ve given the most grief to. You might’ve robbed him or screwed his wife and he’s been nursing it for years. It’s grown in his mind like a brain tumour, so now all he can think of is revenge.
    ‘You can bet he’s not getting on with his life, this guy. He’s so obsessed about setting you up for a life sentence he’s forgotten to have relationships. If he’s married, his wife’ll never see him. This’s what I think we’re looking for, Sam. I might be wrong about one or two of these things, but most of ’em will be right. Mainly it’ll be somebody you’ve taken to the cleaners and now they’re coming back, looking for a bite at the cherry of revenge.’ Sam laughed.
    ‘What’s funny?’
    ‘Cherry of revenge,’ he said. ‘This from the guy who criticizes my English?’
    ‘What’s wrong with that?’ Geordie said. ‘Revenge is sweet. Cherries is sweet. Nothing to laugh about.’
    ‘All right, let’s not get waylaid here. Anything else about this guy?’
    ‘Oh, yeah, there’s the biggie. The knife he’s using, sword, whatever it is. Some huge implement. In psychology terms it’s a penis substitute, like a car, but it’s not a car, therefore the guy’ll probably have a crap car.’
    ‘You been reading those books again.’
    ‘Yeah, I’ve been reading those books