The Men in her Life

to kill the sting of acceptance with a joke, ‘I’ll only get it when you die, won’t I?’
    Philippa laughed.
    ‘Do you know,’ she said, ‘that was going to be my next line of attack...’
    Both saved faces smiled at one another.

Chapter 32

    ‘A word of advice,’ said the woman leaning across the desk, ‘men don’t like hats.’
    She nodded at Holly’s head.
    Holly removed the straw cloche. On the tube on the way there, she had been aware that people were looking at her. The hat she had put on to divert attention beckoned it instead. She was sure that if anyone she knew had seen her going into the building, they would have shown far more interest than usual. Oh look, there goes Holly in a hat! I wonder what she can be up to.
    ‘Oh, you’ve cut your hair!’ The woman, whose brooch said Barbara, Personal Counsellor, looked at the old photo that was paper-clipped to the top of Holly’s application form and then at Holly’s dreadlocks with clear displeasure.
    ‘Yes?’ said Holly, ‘oh I see, well, I’m growing it out. That’s an old photo, but I think it’s quite good of me. Normally I look terrible. The camera always seems to catch me between expressions...’ She pulled a face to illustrate what she was talking about.
    ‘Yes, well, I suppose there’s nothing you can do about it now. It’s just, well, generally men prefer long hair...’
    ‘Look,’ Holly leaned forward, ‘if all you’ve got are men who want Charlie’s Angels, I’m in the wrong place. In case you didn’t notice I’m nearly six feet tall, my hair is ginger and I’ve got an unfortunate habit of saying what I think. That’s three more things men don’t generally prefer. If I was petite, blonde, GSOH, loves animals and wants to travel I’d probably already be hitched up and on holiday in Malaga right now, wouldn’t I?’
    Barbara let out a short, hollow laugh.
    ‘You’re a real individual, aren’t you?’ she said, making an illegible note on her clipboard. ‘Now, the credit check was fine...’ She smiled at Holly as if she were announcing the result of a smear test.
    What did you expect, Holly asked herself. You came here to find a date, not to become friends with a woman who makes her living out of other people’s loneliness. Colette had told her that it was a bit embarrassing at first. This was probably what she meant. She wished that Colette would use language a bit more precisely sometimes.
    ‘Do you like animals, by the way?’ Barbara asked.
    ‘Frankly, I wouldn’t care if I never saw another animal in my life,’ Holly replied, ‘but I tend not to like people who own dogs. I didn’t see a box on your form about that. Maybe you should have one. A bit like smoking...’
    ‘But it says here that you do smoke,’ Barbara interrupted.
    ‘Yes, I was thinking of the other way round. Habitual non-smokers won’t usually go near smokers, which is fine because people who have never smoked in their life are usually pretty boring. What I mean is, I would as soon go out with a dog-owner as a non-smoker would go out with me. For me, it would be on the level of a beard. A bearded, non-smoking, dog-owner is my idea of the date from hell. Does that help?’
    Barbara smiled at her. The strain was beginning to show.
    ‘Well, let’s not waste any more time sitting around chatting,’ she said, brightly, ‘I’m sure what you really want is to get your fingers on some profiles. If you can just sign this confidentiality agreement...’ She shoved a piece of paper across the desk, which Holly picked up and began to read.
    ‘It’s just
    ‘I make my living negotiating contracts,’ Holly told her, ‘I’m not about to sign something without reading it.’
    ‘Well, I’ll just go and find you some suitable men!’ Barbara’s voice rose at the end of every sentence and she spoke a little too loudly, as if she were dealing with a child or an elderly person. It was a bit like being with an evangelical charity-worker before she handed out the soup. And Holly was paying her. It was all the wrong way round, she thought as Barbara disappeared into another room, leaving her alone with the confidentiality agreement with its list of conditions including the explicit statement that there would be no refund of the joining fee after signature.
    How much did she want to meet a man? Holly asked herself for the umpteenth time, chewing on the top of the Bic Barbara thoughtfully provided. Several times her hand hovered above the