The Men in her Life

about whether Jack Palmer had merely exploited the plight of the homeless in order to make a sugar-coated, soft porn movie, or whether his intention had been to draw maximum attention to the problem by making a film that people wanted to see. Anticipating a mixed reaction, the studio had decided that a premiere that raised funds for one of Princess Diana’s chosen charities, would be a suitable way of generating publicity for the opening in London . They needed Philippa to turn up to show her approval.
    ‘It’s up to you,’ Clare said.
    ‘Would you come?’
    ‘No. I’m going away,’ Clare said firmly. She knew she would not be brave enough to arrive at such an event. She had made a kind of reconciliation with Jack and she would not do it again in public, not to promote this film at any rate. She had found the ending disturbing. The girl in the film was younger than Ella.
    ‘Oh?’
    ‘Ella and Tom and I are going to drive across America ,’ Clare announced.
    ‘Oh...’
    ‘What’s wrong?’
    Their gravadlax arrived. It was thinly cut and very good.
    ‘I was thinking of going away myself...’ Philippa said, ‘but I just don’t know if I have the energy to do it alone. I was thinking of India ...’ She said it almost as if she had expected Clare to come with her. Clare had a fleeting vision of her mother lurching along on a ceremonial elephant.
    ‘Why India ?’ she asked, trying to suppress the smile the image produced.
    ‘My father was brought up there, you know. It’s always interested me, and I rather took to backpacking when I was in Spain ...’
    ‘Backpacking?’ Clare repeated, astonished.
    ‘Just jumping on a bus and seeing where it takes you, without all the bother of luggage...’ Philippa replied, ‘obviously, I’d want to stay in good hotels...’ She grinned at Clare.
    It was one of the rare occasions Clare had known her mother to make a joke against herself. She thought of her earlier conversation with Ella and how odd it was that all three generations of women should simultaneously harbour the desire to be blown like driftwood to foreign shores.
    ‘Well, you must go...’ Clare said.
    ‘Perhaps. I feel I must do something. I haven’t really done anything for months. I hate being underemployed. But I shall wait until after Jack’s premiere. I might as well agree to it.’
    Philippa ravelled a translucent slice of cured salmon round her fork. Then put it down. She was clearly preoccupied.
    ‘Should I invite the other daughter?’ she asked, ‘to the premiere. Do you think that the other daughter ought to be invited?’
    ‘You mean Holly?’
    Clare had not told Philippa about the part Holly played in her split with Joss. It was too uncomfortably symmetrical. She had not wanted Philippa to appropriate Clare’s betrayal as an adjunct to her own. What had happened was a fluke, and she resisted the conclusion that it might be part of a pattern laid down by their history. If you let yourself believe that the past determined what happened, then there was no future. And the future had become desperately important to Clare.
    ‘I think it would be a lovely idea,’ she said, relieved that she had already informed Philippa that she would not be going to the event.
    ‘I was thinking that I ought to give the other daughter some of Jack’s money...’
    ‘She wouldn’t take it,’ Clare said immediately.
    ‘But I should offer,’ Philippa said.
    ‘See what you think when you meet her,’ Clare said.
    ‘What about the other woman? Do I have to invite her too?’ Philippa asked wearily.
    ‘Mo? I think it would be generous of you. And fitting...’
    ‘You would approve?’
    ‘I would.’ Clare smiled, thinking how odd it was that Philippa should seek her endorsement.
    ‘Oh well then,’ Philippa said, clearly quite liking the notion of herself as a generous and fitting benefactor, ‘I suppose I’d better.’

Chapter 35

    ‘It’s sort of Sea of Love with laughs,’ said Jeff.
    Holly raised an eyebrow.
    ‘It’s a sitcom about the lonely hearts industry,’ he went on as if his pitch had made that perfectly clear, ‘there’s this man and this woman who would be perfect together but they keep missing each other. First they try the personal ads, then they try teledating and then they join an agency, but even then they don’t meet up, except perhaps in the last episode. Then there might be another series...’
    ‘Oh, so you were just doing research?’ Holly said without