The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag 00 - Swept Under the Rug

on my arm. Other people had ceased their workouts to watch the spectacle. Poor Sylvia. And I had to don my crazy hat bringing more attention to the situation. The mortification written across her face convinced me.
    “That’s a mighty fine idea.” I whirled on my heel and marched off to the front desk. “I want to cancel my membership,” I announced to the tanned Adonis manning the phones.
    “Uh…well, there’s a form you need to fill out and—”
    I waved a hand, practically bonking him on the beak. “Whatever. Just as long as I can register a complaint with the owner.”
    “A complaint about what?”
    “Unsanitary conditions in the ball room.”

    * * * *
    I asked Sylvia to come to my house for a bit, but deep down I knew she craved alone time, and wasn’t surprised when she refused. With any luck, she’d bounce back and set her life straight by changing the locks on her front door before Eric came home. I’d already offered to send Neil to the local hardware store on her behalf.
    “Hey gang, Mom’s home!” Neil stood and stretched his back as I staggered over the threshold of our humble abode. As was custom, two backpacks, three baskets of unfolded linens and a pile of mail awaited my attention in the miniscule entryway which doubled as our foyer. The new coat of sage paint I’d applied a few days earlier still smelled fresh and Neil had finally hung the family pictures I’d been hounding him about.
    “Good workout?” Neil dropped a kiss on the top of my head and I stifled the urge to fall into his arms and sob. Two adrenaline spikes and more surprises and self-doubt than I’d wanted to count in the past ten hours made stringing a sentence together damn near impossible.
    “Mom, Josh is in the bathroom and he won’t come out!” Kenny’s words were punctuated with violent pounding. “Come on, dweeb, I gotta go!”
    “Kenny, use ours for the love of Pete!” Neil’s voice was tinged with exasperation.
    “How long has he been in there?”
    Neil glanced at the mantel clock below his big screen T.V., where he’d paused an episode of Deadliest Catch. “Almost an hour.”
    “Is he sick? Vomiting? Have you called the doctor yet? I heard there’s a stomach bug going around—”
    I cut myself off and headed for the kitchen where the emergency phone numbers resided, but Neil tugged me back by the shirt.
    “Maggie, he’s not sick, he’s twelve. Twe l-ve, as in adolescent, pre-pubescent twelve.”
    I blinked a few times and Neil chucked me under the chin then locked his gaze with mine in silent communion. I stared into the hazel depths and the light dawned.
    “Cripes, not yet.” I sagged onto my ugly yet practical barstools and the urgency to do something fled. “I’m not ready for this.”
    “Really Uncle Scrooge, this is nothing you need to do anything about.” Neil stood behind me and massaged the tension from my neck and shoulders.” He’s getting older, he has a girlfriend—”
    “No he doesn’t.” I shook my head and shrugged out from under his hold.
    “That girl who was here at Thanksgiving, Olivia.”
    “There’s nothing official, they just chat online sometimes.”
    Neil cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes at me. “Kids don’t meet at a sock hop, then share a root beer float at the local soda shop anymore, Maggs. Communicating online is dating to the next generation.”
    “I was born in the seventies, Neil. And my first date tried to sell me stolen lawn gnomes he’d filched from the church rummage sale.”
    He stared at me for a beat, then doubled over in laughter. I’m pretty sure he believed I’d made that up. I sighed. Truth can be stranger than fiction.
    Once Neil got control of himself, he resumed the shoulder rub in silence. Obviously, he thought I was a few yachts shy of a boat show. He just didn’t get the mother-to-adopted son dynamic. It seemed like a few days ago, Josh had been a solemn, wide-eyed toddler in need of a mother’s unconditional love. And now he was growing up, in the bathroom….
    I winced and derailed that train of thought. Neil was right, as usual. This had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Mother Nature, the selfish cow.
    “They’ve been fighting more lately, over space and privacy. It’s probably time to give Josh his own room.” Apparently Neil decided to keep the bombs falling before I could fully regroup. My life was changing too fast and I didn’t cotton to change very well. Upheaval was one