The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag 00 - Swept Under the Rug

Just what exactly is wrong with you, that you screw up every frigging thing you touch?”
    “That’s enough, Uncle Scrooge.” Neil said from the doorway.
    “Oh, we’re not even in the same dimension as enough! I’m just warming up here and—”
    “Marty, go to bed. We’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Neil’s tone was hard and unyielding. “Maggie, come outside with me a second.”
    I took one last look at my brother’s devastated face, before closing my eyes. “I’m sorry Marty, I didn’t mean—”
    “Save it, Laundry Hag.” Marty nodded to Neil, then stormed down the hall. At least he had enough sense not to slam the door. I launched myself from the barstool and flung the microwave door open.
    “God, can you believe him?” I asked as I scraped the food into the trash. “Running from a damn assault charge with a pregnant stranger riding shotgun. Un-frigging-believable”
    “Maggie, come outside.” Neil repeated the command.
    “I don’t want to go outside, it’s too cold. Hey!” I shouted as the fleece comforter from our makeshift bed was tossed over my head. Neil spun me until I was swaddled like a mummy and lifted me off the ground in a fireman’s carry.
    “What the hell are you doing, you’ll hurt your shoulder.” My words must have been muffled by the blanket because he patted my backside once and didn’t respond.
    A lock clicked and I hissed as the freezing air sting my bare feet. Neil must have put on boots because I heard the distinct crunching of snow as a jounced along like a tuna in a net.
    “Seriously Neil, how much did you like dinner, ‘cause we might experience it again if you keep bouncing me around.”
    “Quit your bellyaching, we’re almost there.” Another light slap on the butt. He was having way too much fun with this.
“Almost where?” I asked at the same time a door squeaked open. The world came back into view as Neil set me down and the comforter fell away from my head. Me feet were planted on the steps to the RV.
    “Are you out of your ever-loving mind? The heater isn’t on, we’ll freeze to death.”
    Pushing past me, Neil kicked off his boots and flicked the space heater on. “See, no popsicles in here. Besides, you needed to cool off. Come in and shut the door before you let the heat out.”
    “Wiseass,” I grumbled, hopping over the small puddles of snow his boots had left behind. Tempted though I was to hog the blanket, I sat down next to him, so close that our thighs touched, and flung one corner over his shoulder.
    His arm wrapped around my waist and he sighed. “Let it all out Uncle Scrooge.”
    I blew out a sigh. “My brother’s an idiot.”
    “That’s not exactly a news flash.”
    I rolled my eyes at him. “You know what I mean. Part of me wants to box his ears for not thinking this through, for dragging us into the muck with him.”
    Neil made a sound of commiseration. “And the other part?”
    I looked him in the eyes, a small smile turning up the corners of my mouth. “I’m very proud of him, for standing up for someone weaker than himself.”
    Neil smiled back “Me too. He’s not just a selfish kid anymore.”
    “Oh he’s still a selfish kid,” I said “And he got in way over his head this time, but the reason he did, the fact that he wanted to help someone other than himself….”
    “It changes things.” He finished for me.
    I sniffed, my nose dripping unattractively, whether from the cold or emotion I couldn’t tell. “So, what do we do now?”
    “Well, tomorrow, we contact that lawyer, explain the situation and see what he advises and take it from there.”
    I groaned. “I’m going to have to sell a kidney to pay for this.”
    “Worry about that later.” He leaned in, kissed my neck followed by a quick hit to the corner of my mouth. “Since we’re out here, all alone in the cold, you wanna share body heat?”
    “That,” I told him “is the best offer I’ve had all night.”

Nineteen

    “ H ave the two of you worked on that homework assignment I gave you?” Dr. Bob asked. He sat in a rolling desk chair, his little notebook perched on his lap. He’d chosen a green sweater-vest to wear over a pinstripe dress shirt. His glasses now sported tape at the bridge and a safety pin over one ear. The effect was almost painful with his graying comb-over and pleated khaki pants.
    Neil’s eyebrows met dead center above his nose. “What’s this?”
    “We made a sizeable dent in it last night.” I chirped. I’d