The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag 00 - Swept Under the Rug

mobile types, much like my boss.
    Whose door I’d reached. Mentally calling up the office schedule, I gnawed on my lip and wondered if he was even home. Well if not, I’d wait, maybe call his mother and talk wedding details. All those colors and fabrics to choose from, all the time I needed to invest—never mind the money for something I’d wear once. Ick, not a chore made for a woman like me. Might as well get it over with, since I lacked female relatives to run interference and his sister, Justine, had emailed me from college to say my future mother-in-law wanted to talk turkey. I put the key in the lock, turned the doorknob and was about to announce my arrival when I saw it.
    The tract lights over the entryway were dim and it took a moment for me absorb the significance of the lacy black bra draped over the barstool. I picked it up between shaking fingers and turned toward the cracked bedroom door, where Barry White crooned in dulcet sensuality. I stopped outside the door, fighting the urge to hurl, when his voice greeted me.
    “That was great, baby.” The Jackass sounded out of breath. I closed my eyes in revulsion, knowing exactly how he looked as he said those words. After all, it had been my bra on the barstool often enough.
    “You never answered me. When are you gonna ditch her?” The female voice sounded catty and I had no doubt I was the ‘her’ in question.
    I heard a distinctly male grunt. “These things take time, sweetheart. You need to be patient.”
    “I’ve been patient for over four years now, you jerk! You promised me you were going to tell her you lost all of her money and send her packing! Then the next day, you tell me you’re engaged to her!”
    “Well, I couldn’t tell her I was paying for your breast implants with their inheritance! Really Darcy, how do you suppose—”
    Darcy. I knew that name. The rat bastard had me cancel engagements with Darcy for him on a regular basis about six months before I’d started shtupping my boss. I had only seen her in person once and I could clearly picture her silky long blond hair and trim figure. Must have been before the breast augmentation.
    “Besides, it’s just a phony engagement.” My heart ripped in two at his callous words.
    “Watch your tone with me, Mr. High-and-Mighty! You were the one who wanted me to get that surgery! Besides, you told me you made nearly a million dollars with her investment. Where did it all go?”
    I needed to sit down. Good question, Darcy. “Darcy, honey, calm down. You know I’ve had problems with the IRS—they froze my assets. I needed the money to keep me afloat while I straightened everything out.”
    A million dollars. I had owned a million dollars and I never even knew it. Now the money from my father’s hardware store and the insurance capitol from my childhood home was gone, used to support the yuppie lifestyle of a scamming, no good rat bastard.
    “I want her out of my condo. You told me it was only temporary, yet she’s still there, her fat ass leaving imprints on my sofa!”
    That. Was. It.
    I pushed open the door. “Don’t worry, Darcy; I’ll be out of your condo by morning.” I looked at The Jackass. “And I’ll be calling your good friends at the IRS to let them know what a considerate tax payer you’ve been.” I spun on my heel and marched out of the apartment with my dignity in shreds, held together with spit and phony pride.
    “Maggie, wait!” The Jackass chased me down the hall, twig and berries bared for all to see. He grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him, but I didn’t think before I brought my knee up with all the force of a woman scorned. His face took on a deathly pallor before he crumpled like a sack of shit to the beige carpet. I didn’t bother to stick around to see if he would retch—though the thought held a certain grim appeal— just swung my ass out the door without a backward glance.
    My brother was gone when I returned to the condo to pack my belongings. With shaking hands I called Marty’s girlfriend’s cell phone and left a voice mail to inform my brother I was packing up his stuff and I would get him a room at the Holiday Inn until he moved in with Gloria. I jogged down to the super’s door and asked him if I could borrow a Phillips head. Then I took some tuna steaks out of the freezer and used the screwdriver to remove the vent covers on the heating system. I dropped the fish in, reattached the covers and cranked the thermostat to