The Night Beat

our bag of goodies and I tossed it into the trunk, Sexy Cindy and Freddy piled into the back, Jack took the wheel, and I grabbed the radio. “Darlene, Detectives Wolfe and Wagner checking in.”
    “How nice of you to remember us back at Headquarters, Detective.”
    I breathed a sigh of relief. Things were at least semi-normal somewhere. “We’ve been following leads. Anything going on we should know about?”
    “It’s very quiet. Chief feels it’s too quiet.”
    “Oh. Good. Where in the silence would you like us to go?”
    “Nowhere in particular. We’d just like it if you’d check in more than once every few days.”
    “Hilarious. We’ll do our best to keep the regular cards and letters flowing. Over and out.” I hung up and looked at Jack. “This is getting weirder by the minute.”
    “I agree. I mean, we’ve had quiet nights -- I think maybe a whole dozen in the time we’ve been partnered -- but quiet right now? Seems unlikely.”
    “Well, let’s get to Enforcement Headquarters and see what fun awaits us there. I’m sure we’ll have time later to rock the bad guys on the human plane.”
    Jack drove back to OLOC. This time we used the church’s parking lot because I had the special parking tag and now wasn’t afraid to use it.
    “Really? Necropolis Enforcement can legally use a handicapped hanger and no one complains?” Jack sounded ready to give me a ticket.
    “It says ‘Differently Abled’ and we pay a lot of money for these. I’d like to mention that we aren’t using the real handicapped spots. We’re using the Differently Abled spots. As in, the ones we’ve paid for.”
    “Huh.” He sounded like he was going to run this by the Chief when we got back to Prosaic City P.D. I got the impression his fur was still ruffled over meeting Jude.
    We poured out. Before we left the car, though, I had everyone take a small weapon of some kind, just in case. I didn’t think it was a good idea for us to waltz into Our Lady of Compassion toting multi-round crossbows, but a can of Evil Fairy Repellent and a miniature single-shot crossbow were a lot easier to hide.
    Cruised through OLOC and into the Proper. Jack didn’t seem to have any trouble with the slide. I figured I’d let him go through the next time without my holding onto him, just to see how it went.
    Moving sidewalks were working just fine, no one we passed seemed panicked or like they were trying to pass furtive signals. Nor did anyone look or act possessed. It was just a typical night in the Proper -- beings out, many working, some having a good time, some hustling about their business, some strolling. Normal.
    I spotted what looked like some University students taking classes outdoors, as well as a group of younger undeads clearly on an outing to the hospital. That was considered a big deal for the young ones. Why, I could never figure out -- I wasn’t wild about visiting hospitals, though I was a big fan of their work -- but apparently the little undeads had to pass tests and get perfect attendance and citizenship marks before they got to go. Strangely enough, there were always enough young ones who’d made the cut that groups ran at least weekly, sometimes more often.
    “What are little kids -- ah, beings doing out this time of night?” Jack asked.
    “Uh, they’re little vampires and ghosts and such. They’re night creatures.”
    “Oh.” Jack looked embarrassed. “That was a stupid question.”
    “My teachers used to say there were no stupid questions,” Sexy Cindy offered. “Of course, they also said there was no such thing as ghosts and vampires and werewolves. So I guess they didn’t know much.”
    “Thanks.” Jack shot her a dirty look. “I have another question.”
    “Go ahead.”
    “How do they handle being kids forever?”
    “Oh. They don’t. Naturally born undeads age, ah, naturally until adulthood for their particular race. After that, it’s onto the slow but steady wins the eternity race thing.”
    He shrugged. “If you say so. So, what’s the plan?”
    “Go in, see what’s going on.” I shrugged. “If it’s bad, we’ll know.”
    “How so?” Freddy asked.
    “Well, if it’s not obvious so that we can all just see or hear the bad going on, then I sort of figure either Jack or Cindy will be affected by it.”
    “I love being the team mine canary. It’s almost as emasculating as being around Black Angel Two.”
    Sexy Cindy snorted. “Yeah? Well, being Spot the Evil Girl ain’t no