The Real Macaw: A Meg Langslow Mystery

began wriggling, wagging his tail, and yipping with joy as he jumped up to lick Rob’s face.
    “Seriously involved with anyone?” I asked. Rob’s laughter continued, and Clarence was visibly suppressing a smile.
    “Involved with a lot of women, but none of it all that serious,” Clarence said. “Not on his part, anyway. He was a free spirit.”
    “He was a no-good letch with the morals of a tomcat,” Caroline said. “Damn! Give me that towel—this one’s piddling on me again.”
    “But very kind to animals,” Clarence said, handing Caroline a towel. Not one of our towels, I was relieved to see.
    “And the jerk used it to the hilt,” Caroline said. “I don’t mean that he wasn’t kind to animals. He was, and he did a lot of good work. But let a pretty girl walk into the room, and suddenly he’s Mother Teresa and Dr. Doolittle, all rolled into one, bending tenderly over a sick kitten as if only he could save it.”
    “Yeah, he was a little sleazy with women,” Clarence said. “But I’ve seen him stay up all night with a sick dog. He even let himself get stuck with taking care of any iguanas that got turned in to the shelter, which is definitely above and beyond.”
    “Why above and beyond?” Rob asked. “Iguanas are cool—I’ve been thinking about getting one.”
    “Don’t,” Clarence said. “They’re too much work. There’s no such thing as iguana chow—you have to chop just the right mixture of fresh fruits and vegetables for them every day, and make sure they get enough sunlight and mist their skin to keep it healthy or they don’t thrive.”
    “What happens when they don’t thrive?” Rob asked.
    “Getting back to Parker,” I said. “He was good at feeding and misting iguanas? Is that important?”
    I thought I was asking if iguana husbandry could possibly have had anything to do with Parker’s murder. But Clarence took my question at face value.
    “Not only good at it,” Clarence said. “He was willing to do it, in spite of the fact that iguanas are the most unrewarding creatures on earth to foster. The ones turned in to the shelter can get up to five or six feet long, aggressive as hell, and like most reptiles, about as affectionate as the rocks they’re sitting on.”
    “Yes, Parker was a good volunteer,” Caroline said. “I’ll give him that. He never shirked when there was something that needed doing with the animals. I just wish the bastard had learned to keep his pants zipped, that’s all. Sorry—I hate to speak ill of the dead, especially someone who’s not even cold in his grave yet—”
    “Not even in his grave yet,” Rob put in. “Probably just down at the morgue.”
    “But if you want the honest truth,” Caroline went on, “he was a letch.”
    “So it wouldn’t surprise you to know that two of the Corsican volunteers are carrying on a dueling widow act?” I asked.
    The three of them looked at me and blinked.
    “Good Lord,” Caroline said. “Which two?”
    “I bet Vivian is one of them,” Clarence said.
    “That’s just a rumor,” Rob said. “I don’t actually believe it.”
    “I do,” Clarence said.
    “Is Vivian a tall, willowy redhead?” I asked.
    “Yes,” Clarence said. “Vivian Forrest. She’s a nurse at Caerphilly hospital. They met when Parker got badly bitten by a dog he was rescuing.”
    “That doesn’t mean she was seeing him,” Rob said.
    Clarence glanced over at me, rolled his eyes, and shrugged. Yes, I got it. Apparently Rob was also interested in the attractive Vivian. Thank goodness he was alibied for the time of the murder.
    “Well, she’s not going to be seeing him anymore, is she?” Caroline said. “Who’s the other one?”
    “Petite blonde, not as elegantly dressed as Vivian,” I said.
    They all looked blank.
    “Beats me,” Caroline said. “Rob, go check it out.”
    I went back out into the main barn. Rob followed me, and I pointed out the two women.
    “Yes, that’s Vivian.” He shook his head as if only now detecting some profound character flaw in the lovely redhead. “And the other one? Good grief! Louise Dietz? Who’d have guessed her?”
    “What does Louise do when she’s not volunteering for CORSICA?” I asked.
    “Works down at the courthouse as an administrative assistant.” He glanced around to see if anyone was within earshot and lowered his voice. “She’s kind of like our mole inside the mayor’s office. Parker recruited her—but I hadn’t realized before just how.