The Redemption of Callie & Kayden

shit that I am.
Callie
    I’m standing outside the door to his room, fidgeting nervously as I wait to go inside and see Kayden. His mom’s in the room with him and I don’t want to go in until she leaves. I’m not sure what to say or if there’s anything I
can
say when I get inside. There’s no magical word that will make it easier, and it’s terrifying.
    The hallway is packed with people and chatter, and the chaos is disconcerting and adds fire to my jittery nerves. I’ve been writing for days in my journal about what I would say to him when I first see him.
I’m glad you’re okay. I’m sorry. Thank you.
The last thought I always feel guilty about, but I can’t get it out of my head.
    “You look like you’re going to throw up, Callie.” Seth’s voice interrupts my thoughts. He’s standing across the hallway, beside Luke, with his arms folded behind him as he eyes me worriedly. “Do we need to get you a bucket or something?”
    I shake my head. “No, I’m fine. Besides, where would you find a bucket?”
    The corners of his lips tug upward and in three long strides he crosses the hall and stops in front of me. “You know he’s okay, right? He’s still Kayden, just a banged-up one who probably needs you now more than anything.”
    “Yeah, I guess.” I fold my arms over my chest and then uncross them, unable to hold still.
    He swings his arm around me and pulls me in for a hug. “Just take deep breaths and breathe.”
    I nod and suck air through my nose and let it out between my lips just like he instructed. But as the door swings open, my chest constricts along with my heart as Maci Owens comes walking out. She’s dressed like she’s going to a fancy dinner and it seems ridiculous to me. Her hair is done up in a neat bun and she has on heavy eyeliner and lipstick. She’s wearing a navy blue dress and black high heels. My dark feelings toward her outfit and looks may be stemming from the fact that she’s here and doesn’t look the least bit upset.
    Her high heels click as she exits beside one of the nurses. She has her phone in her hand and a pair of leather gloves in the other. She passes by me and the woman who once greeted me with a cheery smile barely acknowledges me. She’s probably still upset about how I reacted when she tried to tell me Kayden injured himself.
    I keep my gaze fixed on her as she walks down the hall, and then Seth nudges me with his elbow and I tear my gaze away from her and fix it on him. “Huh?”
    He nods his head at the doorway. “Quit worrying about her and go in.”
    I glance at Luke. “Maybe you should you go in first.”
    He quickly shakes his head. “I think he’d rather see you first.”
    I’m not sure if he’s right, but I decide to go in. I inhale another breath in preparation and then enter the room. I’ve always thought that hospital rooms were the most depressing rooms that existed, but this facility is much worse. The walls are unembellished, the floor is blemished, and the bed is made up neatly for the next patient.
    Kayden is standing in the middle of the room with a bag over his shoulder. In my head I’d been picturing that he’d be lying in a bed, looking helpless and scared. He’s taller than I remember and I instantly tip my head up to meet his emerald eyes. His brown hair is a little longer and shaggier, hanging over his ears and in his eyes and he looks like he hasn’t shaved in a while, his face scruffy. There’s another scar on his cheek and a bandage on his wrist along with an array of rubber bands. His body looks solid, but his expression looks breakable and fragile.
    “Callie,” he says, looking stunned and a little upset to see me. His bag falls down his arm and hits the floor.
    “Hi.” It seems like the silliest thing I could ever say, but it’s the first word to pop into my head.
    The corners of his lips start to turn up, but then it vanishes and I question if I ever really saw it. “You shouldn’t be here,” he says.
    My heart tightens, twines into knots, binding so tightly it begins to wilt into pieces. I don’t know what to do or say so I tell him about my road trip. He’s not happy and suddenly he’s leaving, walking past me with barely a glance. Then I’m alone, unable to move or breathe. All I can think is that this is the end of it. The end to my happiness.
    After standing in the middle of the room for an eternity, Seth finally walks in. He approaches me like I’m a skittish cat and I glance down at my