The Reunion

him, a slight frown on his face as he squinted into the sun. She’d grown accustomed to that frown, he wore it all the time now, it seemed as though he never looked at her except with concern. It was heartbreaking to watch, but no matter how she tried, she’d not been able to chase him away. He loved her, loved her like no one ever had, and there was nothing to be done. He wasn’t going anywhere. Lilah consoled herself with the thought that, young and beautiful as he was, he’d recover.
    It was Zac’s idea to come to France. When she got the final diagnosis, the big one, the bad one, he’d said: ‘We can go to the French house. We can spend the summer there, it’ll be so much better than staying in London. Dan owes you, you said it, and he knows it. We even had a conversation about it.’ Lilah told him it was out of the question, she hadn’t told anyone yet, she wasn’t ready for that. Zac went ahead and contacted Dan anyway. Lilah was furious: there was a terrible argument, the worst they’d ever had, it went on for days. She refused to speak to him, she threw him out of the apartment, she took away his keys. He slept in the hallway outside their flat. She said terrible things and told him she didn’t love him, never had. He bought flowers and groceries and told her that no matter what she did he would be there with her. She gave in, in the end. His will was stronger than hers, who’d have thought it?
    She drifted off. When she woke, the car was no longer moving. It was parked in shadow on the side of the road, a small road, not the motorway.
    ‘Zac?’
    ‘You were shivering,’ his voice called out from behind her. He was rummaging in the boot and appeared at her side with a woollen blanket in hand. ‘Here you go. Won’t be long now. Half an hour or so. Shall I put the top up?’
    ‘No. Leave it down.’
    ‘OK.’ He leaned over the door and kissed her gently on the lips.
    She snuggled down under the blanket and they set off again.
    ‘When do they arrive?’ she asked Zac. ‘I’ve forgotten.’
    ‘Thursday.’
    ‘Today is?’
    ‘Monday, sweetheart.’
    ‘OK.’
    ‘You nervous?’
    ‘Yeah.’
    Andrew and Natalie would be joining them in three days’ time, with their daughters in tow. And a while after that, she couldn’t remember exactly when, Jen would be arriving too, with the baby. She couldn’t remember the baby’s name. She kept forgetting things, they just vanished out of her head, and when she was told again it was like discovering something for the first time, there was no familiarity, no comforting flash of recognition. She hated this feeling of confusion most of all, it was like fear, worse than the headaches, worse than the exhaustion. It reminded her of the blackouts she used to have when she drank, the sense of losing time forever, never to be recovered.
    She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again, rocking her head back, gazing up at the sky, still deepest azure and completely cloudless. Count your blessings, Lilah. A man who loves you, who will stay with you, no matter what. A roof over your head, and not just any roof either. Friends.
    She wasn’t quite sure what to expect of her friends. She’d written to Natalie, telling her about her illness and the fact that she was staying with Dan, asking her to come. There were things they needed to get straight, things they had to resolve. She couldn’t do it over the phone, she couldn’t do it by letter or email, it had to be face to face.
    The sun was just dipping behind the brow of the hill as they drove up the driveway; Lilah could see Dan standing at the kitchen window, he was waiting for them. He emerged within seconds from the front door, his brow furrowed, too.
    ‘I was starting to worry,’ he called out. ‘Did you have a good time?’
    ‘Marvellous,’ Lilah called out, her voice little more than a croak. She coughed. ‘It was lovely. You should come, next time.’
    Next time. They made plans, all the time, her and Zac. Zac hadn’t given up on her. And why not make plans, Lilah thought. She knew that Dan found it disconcerting, but what was the point in
not
making plans? It wasn’t like they had an exact date, a deadline. There might be time for another trip to the beach, there might be time for several.
    Dan opened her car door, helped her out.
    ‘You’ve caught the sun,’ he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
    ‘I should hope so,’ she said, smiling at him, her most reassuring smile. She