The Shadow Hunter

he’s not easy to open up to.”
    “But you got him to open up.”
    “Emotionally? Yes. We just connected, I think. Even though we never did more than talk, it seemed to mean a lot to him. To me too. I needed somebody to talk to, somebody who wouldn’t treat me like a paranoid fool because I worried about Hickle all the time. Somebody who would show me some respect. Howard never respected my feelings at all.”
    “How do you think Paul felt about your time together?”
    Kris smiled. “He told me it was like coming alive at the age of forty-four. As if he’d been numb for years, withdrawn and tight, until…”
    “Until you.”
    “I know it sounds silly—”
    “No, it doesn’t. What about Howard?”
    “Howard?”
    “You seemed to think he suspects you of actually having an affair.”
    Kris pursed her lips. “I think I was being hysterical. The truth is, I doubt Howard has a clue that Paul has ever looked at me as anything other than a client. He’s too wrapped up in his toys and cars and…maybe this plot against me.”
    “If he is Hickle’s accomplice…”
    “Yes?”
    “You’ll be free of him.”
    “I suppose I will.”
    “And Paul will still be there.”
    “You’re asking if I might hook up with him?”
    Abby nodded. “It seems to be what he wants. And from what I can tell, it’s what you want too.”
    Kris laughed sadly. “Oh, hell, I don’t know what I want. You know, everybody’s life is such a mess, isn’t it? We’re so screwed up, all of us.” She fixed her blue gaze on Abby. “Except maybe you.”
    “Me?”
    “You’re one of the few truly self-sufficient people I’ve run into. I’ll bet you wouldn’t get your love life tied up in knots like this, would you?”
    “Don’t be so sure.”
    Kris lifted an eyebrow. “So you have your blind spots too?”
    “Maybe just one. But it’s a big one.”
    “Well, I’m glad we have something in common.”
    Abby was silent. She didn’t know what to say.
    “It’s good you told me all this,” Kris added. “I wouldn’t have wanted to find out from the police or our lawyer.”
    She took a step toward the door. Abby stopped her. “You never answered my question.”
    “About Paul? A future with him?” Kris canted her head to one side, an unconsciously glamorous pose, her blond hair falling across one shoulder like golden smoke. “You know, it’s funny.”
    “Is it?” Abby wasn’t finding anything funny right now.
    “Before last night I would have said no. But now…well, Paul Travis saved me. He pulled me out of that car and dragged me to cover with shotgun shells flying. He saved my life.” She emitted a short laugh like a sob. “Howard didn’t even come out of the house.”
    Abby nodded slowly. She’d heard everything she needed to hear. “Thanks, Kris.”
    “What for?”
    “This talk.”
    Kris shrugged, honestly bewildered. “I’m the one who should thank you for all you’ve done. And just now…for listening.”
    “I’m a good listener.” Abby smiled. “Everybody tells me so.”
    They said good-bye. Abby sat on the bed and listened to Kris and her bodyguard walk away down the hall. Their footsteps faded out, and Abby was all alone. Still she didn’t move. She thought it was possible she would never move again. Maybe she had experienced too many poundings, physical and psychological, over the past twenty hours. She was worn out. She’d thought—she had honestly thought—
    “I thought he loved me,” she whispered, saying the words aloud to hear them in her own voice.
    She had always been wary of love and intimacy. She had protected herself from hurt. Yet it seemed all the barriers she had raised had not saved her. Or perhaps it was the barriers that had been the problem. Had she been too vigilant or not vigilant enough? Or was it wrong to blame herself when what mattered was Travis’s dishonesty, his betrayal?
    Eyes shut, she wondered if she had loved Paul Travis, imagined a life with him. It seemed ridiculous to plan a future with a man who wouldn’t even kiss her in public for fear of exposing their relationship. Why, then, had she continued to see a man who gave her so little? Perhaps because he demanded so little in return. It was a relationship that had seemed to suit them both. Some people had marriages of convenience. Theirs had been a love affair of convenience. She could see the plain truth now, but never before. The mind was capable of phenomenal feats of self-deception. And the