The Summer of Sir Lancelot

dress,‘ she explained.
    ‘The villain is not in pursuit, I trust?‘
    ‘I -1 don‘t think so, Uncle. I left him unconscious.‘
    ‘Did you, by George? Good girl!‘ exclaimed Sir Lancelot warmly. ‘But I think you had better sneak back to your room before someone comes and catches — ‘
    ‘Sir Lancelot!‘ Tim Tolly burst in without knocking. ‘Effie!‘ he gasped. ‘Oh, Tim, darling!‘ wailed Euphemia, transferring her custom to Tim‘s chest and breaking into tears all over again. ‘Oh, Tim! I love you so much.‘
    ‘Good grief,‘ muttered Sir Lancelot. ‘What premedication for an operation!‘
    ‘Uncle!‘ Euphemia‘s blue eyes widened amid the smudged bronze. ‘You‘re walking.‘
    Sir Lancelot looked in surprise at his feet. ‘So I am,‘ he exclaimed confusedly.
    ‘Effie, my love,‘ murmured Tim into her hair. ‘You are so wonderful. It was all psychosomatic,‘ he added to Sir Lancelot. ‘Think back, and you‘ll find it only came on in moments of stress.‘
    ‘Dammit boy! Are you implying I‘m a nut case?‘
    ‘No, only a hysteric. Effie, my sweet,‘ Tim continued, ‘what on earth has happened to you?‘
    i might inform you that wasn‘t the diagnosis of a Professor of Surgery,‘ Sir Lancelot told him briskly.
    ‘Good lord, one should never send back pains to surgeons. But Sir Lancelot — !‘ He collected himself, i‘ve got Mr Chadwick in the car outside.‘
    Sir Lancelot‘s brows furrowed.
    ‘I - I‘m afraid I‘ve made a bit of a boob,‘ Tim confessed, still holding Huphemia. ‘All summer I‘ve diagnosed a straightforward hypochromic anaemia, but it was only tonight I suspected he‘s bleeding into his gut. He‘s looking pretty poorly at the moment, poor chap. I‘d come along to implore advice — ‘
    Sir Lancelot chucked the sleeping pills into the dressing bin.
    ‘Take the case into casualty,‘ he commanded.
    ‘Yes, sir.‘
    ‘Tell private block theatre to stand by. It may possibly be needed.‘
    ‘Yes, sir.‘
    ‘You‘ve grouped the blood? Good. See if the Senior Resident Anaesthetist is on duty.‘
    ‘Yes, sir.‘
    ‘And tuck that young woman up in bed.‘
    ‘Yes, sir.‘
    i must just scribble a line to the Chairman of Governors — ‘ he reached for Nikki‘s sheet of writing paper. ‘By the way,‘ he broke off, i don‘t suppose you know if Midsummer Madness came home at Newmarket this afternoon?‘
    ‘As a matter of fact, I noticed it in the paper, sir. At thirty-three to one.‘ Sir Lancelot did a quick calculation on the corner of the paper. ‘Five hundred pounds at thirty-three to one makes sixteen thousand five hundred.‘ He rubbed his hands. ‘Things are looking up.‘
     

15
     
    An old-fashioned Englishman out for a day‘s fishing needs a good deal of equipment, but this is no hindrance to the day‘s sport when carried a respectful five paces behind by his faithful gillie. Sir Lancelot‘s load was only his rod as he once again made his way down the familiar path among the brambles to Witches‘ Pool that warm and clear September morning.
    ‘There‘ll be a good few rising later on, mark my words,‘ he declared.
    ‘Wouldn‘t be surprised if we got a hatful,‘ agreed Crimes.
    The pair stopped at the hawthorn bush.
    ‘I trust you will find this employment congenial, Crimes?‘ Sir Lancelot inquired.
    ‘Sir, I‘ll say a little prayer every night to my old governor what I chauffered — just to thank his soul for teaching me fishing.‘
    ‘I am glad you are well suited.‘
    ‘You know, it had always been my wish, sir, to end my days nice and quiet in the green of the country.‘ Crimes dropped the fishing gear and produced his matchstick. ‘And now I shall, sir. So shall we both, eh?‘ he added with a wink.
    Sir Lancelot gaffed him with his eye.
    ‘Crimes, I appreciate your disappointment that I was not, after all, operated upon last month by the Professor. But I wish to make clear that I find our topic of mutual interest somewhat wearisome. So much so, that should you raise the matter again, even by your delicate implications, I shall automatically sack you on the spot.‘
    ‘Yes, sir. Very good, sir.‘
    ‘If you wish to make conversation, confine yourself to the fish.‘
    ‘As you say, sir.‘
    ‘And furthermore, you will chuck away that filthy matchstick. It has irritated me continually now for thirty years. Ah, Charles,‘ he broke off heartily, as another party approached along the bank.
    ‘What a splendid day