The Truth About Faking

words.”
     “You know, ‘What is she like,’ that kind of thing.” Her casual tone is giving me chest pains. Maybe I’m having a heart attack. “With your dad being a reverend and all, guys don’t know what to expect.”
    I shake my head. I’m sitting in my driveway and I cannot move. I’m completely paralyzed. Maybe it is a mini-stroke.
    “What did Brian say?” I ask, trying to restart my breathing.
    “I don’t know,” she says. “That’s not the point.”
    “Shelly!”
    “Oh my god! Chill. I’m sure it was all good things, you know Brian. But I’m even more sure Trent would’ve asked you out then.”
    My head is spinning, and the wreck, everything is forgotten. August? That was right after he saved me at the gym… we could be engaged right now. Okay, maybe not engaged. But promised?
    “…of course, Stephanie came along and just swooped him right up.” She pauses, waiting, but I’m imagining my wedding dress. It’ll be white, of course, and floor-length. And with a lavender-blue sash to match his eyes. I’ll wear my hair in a French braid. Maybe one of those four-stranded braids or an around-the-head, crown style…
    “And that’s my point,” Shelly breathes loudly. “You’re always so distracted and aloof, it makes guys think you’re not interested.”
    “I am not aloof! I can’t believe you’re just now telling me this!”
    “I’m telling you this because it’s part of my great plan! Although I don’t like encouraging obsessions-”
    “Obsessions?”
    “You’ve spent way too much mental energy on this guy. All last year it was nothing. Then he dates Stephanie six months, and you’re still crushing on him. You’re fixated.”
    “I am not fixated, and he just broke up with Stephanie. And clearly it could’ve been something, only you chose not to tell me.”
    “Like it would’ve made a difference.”
    “It might’ve.” I’m finally able to move again, so I grab my bag off the passenger’s seat and pull the keys from the ignition. I hop down and slam the door shut.
    “Look, I didn’t call to argue,” Shelly continues. “I called to tell you I’ve decided to help you.”
    “Help me? How?”
     “You never listen—with assertiveness training! I’ve observed your behavior. And whenever you’re confronted with a guy you like, you freak and become closed.”
    “Is freak the clinical term?”
    “I’m going to help you open up and Break the Cycle!”
    That’s probably the title of her mom’s new book.
    “Well, I’ve kind of been working on a plan already—” I smile at how Operation Luau is so in the bag now.
    “First we have to set your goal,” she interrupts. “What is your goal?”
    “What?” I grunt as I climb over the backseat to get my dress now that the back doors are jammed shut. I drop back to the driveway and shake it out as I walk inside.
    “Dating Trent? Making out with Trent? Marrying Trent?”
    “Well, I wouldn’t say marrying Trent,” I lie. “That’s silly!”
    “So making out with Trent.”
    A million butterflies take off in my stomach at the thought of kissing him. “That sounds like a good goal.”
    “OK, then. You’re going to model my behavior, and by the end of the week, we’ll have you at the Spring Luau with Trent.”
    “Model your behavior?” I ask, but she keeps talking.
    “After which, the two of you will proceed to an intense make-out session.”
    “Shelly!” My butterflies just had babies at that thought. “But I don’t know.” I balance the phone on my shoulder as I open my door. “I mean, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to you know. Model you.”
    “What’s that supposed to mean?” She acts offended, but she knows it’s the truth.
    Ever since her parents’ split, it’s been really hard keeping up with Shelly. Last summer she went off the charts, dumping Brian, who’d been her boyfriend since middle school. Now she’s been jumping from guy to guy like she’s trying to set some Creekside record for most males bagged in a single year. She’s starting to get a rep, and it’s been taking all my creative efforts to keep it from my parents. That part kind of pisses me off. She knows how I feel about not embarrassing Dad. I hurry to the next problem as I drop all my stuff on my bed.
    “And I’m not sure you’re right about Trent picking me over Stephanie. I mean, seriously. Steph’s a senior, she’s cheer captain, she’s got that long brown hair and… well… it all came together