The Truth About Faking

excited, ready for me to fill in all the details.
    “What’s wrong with you?” I ask.
    She breathes loudly. “Jason.”
    “What about Jason?”
    “He cancelled our date Friday.” Shelly pokes her lip out and drives slowly. I try to think of something to say. Other than Yay!
    “Did he say why?”
    “Just… he thinks things are moving too fast.”
    “Well,” I search for something reassuring. “At least you only went out a few times. It’s not like you were super serious, right?”
    “I guess,” she sighs. We’re at school, and Shelly’s slowly circling the parking lot. “Now what’ll I do Friday?”
    Just then Reagan walks by with her little brother Aaron. As they pass, I think about how Aaron always used to hang around when we went to Reagan’s house as kids, and how he always made me laugh. He’s only a sophomore, but he’s got a fall birthday so he’s closer to our age. We’ve lost touch, and watching him, I try to decide if he’s gotten taller. Something’s changed. He seems more confident or something, and as we climb out of Shelly’s car, he looks back and smiles at her. My eyebrows go up, and I look at my friend. He’s no Jason, but that’s a great smile.
    Shelly perks up. “Who’s that?”
    “Aaron? You remember. Reagan’s little brother?”
    “I thought he had braces.”
    I do a double-take. “That’s what’s different! He must’ve got them off.” I remember that feeling— freedom!
    “See ya later, Harley!” She skips ahead to catch up with Reagan and her newly transformed little brother.
    “Assertiveness, pass,” I quietly note as I follow them toward the building. “And that might be a record.”
    Just then I hear someone hurrying to catch up with me and turn back. It’s Jason, and my heart does a flip.
    “Hey,” he says, slowing down to walk with me.
    “Hey,” I say, remembering to breathe.
    “So Ricky’s gay,” he says. “Wow.”
    “I know! I feel like, so blind.”
    “Well, I never expected it, but I know you’re glad it’s over.”
    His eyes meet mine, and my knees go weak.
    “Yeah,” I say.
    We walk a little further in silence. Now I feel so awkward, but I can’t be weird around Jason. I have to talk to him about everything. I look up and see Trent going into his building and wonder if Jason sees him, too.
    “So you’re really going out with him again?” Yep. Jason sees him too.
    I shrug. “It’s not like a date or anything.”
    He stops and catches my arm. “Then what is it?”
    He’s frustrated, and that pain is in my chest again. I don’t know what to say, and standing here with him, I don’t want to be with anyone else ever. Not for any amount of time, like we agreed way back on that very first day at lunch.
    “It’s nothing,” I stammer. “I mean, it was so confusing. He said he needs to talk to me.”
    “About what?”
    “I don’t know. I was super-mad at him after all that stuff happened with Mom, but he apologized. Then he gave me this flower…”
    Jason’s eyes narrow, and I can’t believe I just said that. Trent giving me a flower is like the worst thing I could say. It sounds like I still care about him, and I so don’t. At least not the way I care about Jason.
    He turns and we start walking again. He doesn’t say a word, and I can’t think of a thing to say either. So much for no weirdness.
    “I’m not going out with Shelly anymore,” he finally says.
    “She told me.”
    We walk a little further in silence. I see his jaw clench, then he finally speaks again. “OK, well, I gotta get to class.”
    “Wait.” I catch his arm. “It doesn’t mean anything to me.”
    “Then don’t go.”
    I hesitate. “But it seems really important to him.”
    “Then do what you want, Harley.” He shakes my hand off his arm and turns to leave. “Go out with him.”
    “Jason. Wait!”
    But he doesn’t look at me again, and it hurts so bad to see him walk away. I hug my books tighter against my stomach. My reasons are all stupid and lame, and if I can’t explain to myself why I didn’t tell Trent no, why should I expect Jason to understand? He’s just understood so much. I guess I thought he would again. And I guess that’s my problem. Assertiveness fail.
    Jason disappears around the corner, and when I blink down, two tears hit my cheeks.
     
    From the start, my coffee non-date with Trent is like all our other actual dates. We meet up at the coffee shop, and he’s extremely polite as always. He apparently comes