The Truth

haven’t printed that you have a werewolf employed in the Watch,” said William. He regretted it instantly, but Vimes was getting on his nerves.
    “Where did you hear that?” said a quiet voice behind him. He turned in his chair. A fair-haired young woman in Watch uniform was leaning against the wall. She must have been there all the time.
    “This is Sergeant Angua,” said Vimes. “You can speak freely in front of her.”
    “I’ve…heard rumors,” said William. He’d seen the sergeant in the streets. She had a habit of staring a bit too sharply at people, he’d considered.
    “And?”
    “Look, I can see this is worrying you,” said William. “Please let me assure you that Corporal Nobbs’s secret is safe with me.”
    No one spoke. William congratulated himself. It had been a shot in the dark, but he could tell by Sergeant Angua’s face that he’d won this one. It seemed to have shut down, locking away all expression.
    “We don’t often talk about Corporal Nobbs’s species,” said Vimes after a while. “I would deem it a small favor if you take the same approach.”
    “Yes, sir. So could I ask you why you’re having me watched?”
    “I am?”
    “The gargoyles. Everyone knows a lot of them work for the Watch these days.”
    “We’re not watching you. We’re watching to see what happens to you,” said Sergeant Angua.
    “Because of this, ” said Vimes, slapping the newspaper.
    “But I’m not doing anything wrong, ” said William.
    “No, it may just be you’re not doing anything illegal, ” said Vimes. “Although you’re coming damn close. Other people do not have my kind and understanding disposition, though. All I ask is that you try not to bleed all over the street.”
    “I’ll try.”
    “And don’t write that down.”
    “Fine.”
    “And don’t write down that I said don’t write that down.”
    “Okay. Can I write down that you said that I shouldn’t write down that you said—” William stopped. The mountain was rumbling. “Only joking.”
    “Haha. And no tapping my officers for information.”
    “And no giving dog biscuits to Corporal Nobbs,” said Sergeant Angua. She walked around behind Vimes and peered over his shoulder. “‘The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret’?”
    “Printer’s error,” said William shortly. “Anything else I shouldn’t do, Commander?”
    “Just don’t get in the way.”
    “I’ll make a—I’ll remember,” said William. “But…if you don’t mind me asking, what’s in it for me?”
    “I’m commander of the Watch and I’m asking you politely.”
    “And that’s it?”
    “I could ask you impolitely, Mr. de Worde.” Vimes sighed. “Look, can you see things my way? A crime has been committed. The Guilds are in an uproar. You’ve heard of too many chiefs? Well, right now there’s a hundred too many chiefs. I’ve Captain Carrot and a lot of men I really can’t spare guarding the Oblong Office and the rest of the clerks, which means I’m shorthanded everywhere else. I’ve got to deal with all this and…actively pursue a state of nonbafflement. I’ve got Vetinari in the cells. And Drumknott, too—”
    “But wasn’t he the victim, sir?”
    “One of my men is tending him.”
    “Not one of the city doctors?”
    Vimes stared fixedly at the notebook. “The doctors of this city are a fine body of men,” he said in a level tone, “and I would not see a word written against them. One of my staff just happens to have…special skills.”
    “You mean he can tell someone else’s arse from their elbow?”
    Vimes was a fast learner. He sat with his hands folded, and a completely impassive expression.
    “Can I ask another question?” said William.
    “Nothing will stop you, will it?”
    “Have you found Lord Vetinari’s dog?”
    Again, total blankness. But this time William had the impression that behind it several dozen wheels had begun to spin.
    “Dog?” said Vimes.
    “Wuffles, I believe he’s called,” said William.
    Vimes sat watching him impassively.
    “A terrier, I think,” said William.
    Vimes failed to move a muscle.
    “Why was there a crossbow bolt sticking in the floor?” said William. “That doesn’t make sense to me, unless there was someone else in the room. And it had gone in a long way. That’s not a rebound. Someone was firing at something on the floor. Dog-sized, perhaps?”
    Not a feature twitched on the commander’s face.
    “And then there’s the peppermint,” William went on.