The Truth

an e before the y, ” said William, “‘who earlier today tried to put the Times out of business by means of an illegal document.’” William realized that, although his mouth felt full of acid, he was enjoying this immensely. “‘Asked for his opinion of this flagrant abuse of the city laws, Mr. Slant said…’?”
    “STOP TAKING DOWN EVERYTHING WE SAY!” yelled Slant.
    “…Full caps for the whole sentence please, Mr. Goodmountain.”
    The trolls and the dwarfs were staring at William and the lawyer. They understood that a fight was going on, but they couldn’t see any blood.
    “And when you are ready, Otto?” said William, turning around.
    “If the dwarfs vould just close up a bit more,” said Otto, squinting into the iconograph. “Oh, zat’s good, let’s see the light gleam on zose big choppers…trolls, please vave your fists, zat’s right…big smile, everyvun…”
    It is amazing how people will obey a man pointing a lens at them. They’ll come to their senses in a fraction of a second, but that’s all he needs.
    Click.
    WHOOMPH.
    “Aaarghaaarghaaarghaaaaaagh…”
    William reached the falling iconograph just ahead of Mr. Slant, who could move very fast for a man with no apparent knees.
    “It’s ours,” he said, holding it firmly, while the dust of Otto Chriek fell around them.
    “What are you intending to do with this picture?”
    “I don’t have to tell you. This is our workshop. We didn’t ask you to come here.”
    “But I am here on legal business!”
    “Then it can’t be wrong to take a picture of you, can it,” said William. “But if you think differently, then I will, of course, be happy to quote you!”
    Slant glared at him, and then marched back to the group by the door. William heard him say, “It is my considered legal opinion that we leave at this juncture.”
    “But you said you could—,” Carney began, glaring at William.
    “My very considered opinion,” said Mr. Slant again, “is that we go right now, in silence .”
    “But you said—”
    “In silence, I suggest!”
    They left.
    There was a group sigh of relief from the dwarfs, and a replacement of axes.
    “You want me to set this properly?” said Goodmountain.
    “There’ll be trouble over it,” said Sacharissa.
    “Yes, but how much trouble are we in already?” said William. “On a scale of one to ten?”
    “At the moment…about eight,” said Sacharissa. “But when the next edition is on the streets”—she shut her eyes a moment, and her lips moved in calculation—“about two thousand, three hundred and seventeen?”
    “Then we’ll put it in,” said William.
    Goodmountain turned to his workers.
    “Leave the axes where you can see ’em, boys,” he said.
    “Look, I don’t want anyone else to get into trouble,” said William. “I’ll even set the rest of the type myself, and I can run some copies off on the press.”
    “Needs three to operate and you won’t get much speed,” said Goodmountain. He saw William’s expression, grinned, and slapped him as high up the back as a dwarf could manage. “Don’t worry, lad. We want to protect our investment.”
    “And I’m not leaving,” said Sacharissa. “I need that dollar!”
    “Two dollars,” said William, absently. “It’s time for a raise. What about you, Ott—oh…can someone sweep up Otto, please?”
    A few minutes later the restored vampire pulled himself upright against his tripod and lifted out a copper plate with trembling fingers.
    “Vot is happenink next, please?”
    “Are you staying with us? It could be dangerous,” said William, realizing that he was saying this to a vampire iconographer who undied every time he took a picture.
    “Vot kind of danger?” said Otto, tilting the plate this way and that in order to examine it better.
    “Well…legal, to start with.”
    “Has anyvon mentioned garlic zo far?”
    “No.”
    “Can I have one hundred and eighty dollars for the Akina TR-10 dual-imp iconograph viz the telescopic seat and big shiny lever?”
    “Er…not yet.”
    “Okay,” said Otto philosophically. “Zen I shall require five dollars for repairs and improvements. I can see ziz is a different kind of job.”
    “All right. All right, then…” William looked around the pressroom. Everyone was silent, and everyone was watching him.
    A few days ago he’d have expected today to be…well, dull. It usually was, just after he’d sent out his newsletter. He generally spent the time wandering