The Truth

horses.
    “Ron?” he said.
    “Do I sound like Ron?” said the voice.
    “Not…exactly. So who am I talking to?”
    “You can call me…Deep Bone.”
    “Deep Bone?”
    “Anything wrong with that?”
    “I suppose not. What can I do for you, Mr. Bone?”
    “Just supposin’ someone knew where the doggie was but didn’t want to get involved with the Watch?” said the voice of Deep Bone.
    “Why not?”
    “Let’s just say the Watch can be trouble to a certain kind of a person, eh? That’s one reason.”
    “All right.”
    “And let’s just say there’s people around who’d much prefer the little doggie didn’t tell what it knew, shall we? The Watch might not take enough care. They’re very uncaring about dogs, the Watch.”
    “Are they?”
    “Oh yes, the Watch fink a dog has no human rights at all. That’s another reason.”
    “Is there a third reason?”
    “Yes. I read in the paper where there’s a reward.”
    “Ah. Yes?”
    “Only it got printed wrong, ’cos it said twenty-five dollars instead of a hundred dollars, see?”
    “Oh. I see . But a hundred dollars for a dog is a lot of money for a dog, Mr. Bone.”
    “Not for this dog, if you know what I mean,” said the shadows. “This dog’s got a story to tell.”
    “Oh, yes? It’s the famous talking dog of Ankh-Morpork, is it?”
    Deep Bone growled. “Dogs can’t talk, everyone knows that,” it said. “But there’s them as can understand dog language, if you catch my drift.”
    “Werewolves, you mean?”
    “Could be people of that style of kidney, yes.”
    “But the only werewolf I know is in the Watch,” said William. “So you’re just telling me to pay you a hundred dollars so that I could hand Wuffles over to the Watch?”
    “That’d be a feather in your cap with old Vimes, wouldn’t it?” said Deep Bone.
    “But you said you didn’t trust the Watch, Mr. Bone. I do listen to what people say, you know.”
    Deep Bone went quiet for a while. Then:
    “All right, the dog and an interpreter, one hundred and fifty dollars.”
    “And the story this dog could tell deals with events in the Palace a few mornings ago?”
    “Could be. Could be. Could very well be. Could be exactly the kind of fing I’m referrin’ to.”
    “I want to see who I’m talking to,” said William.
    “Can’t do that.”
    “Oh, well, ” said William. “That’s reassuring. I’ll just go and get a hundred and fifty dollars, shall I, and bring it back to this place and hand it over to you, just like that?”
    “Good idea.”
    “Not a chance.”
    “Oh, so you don’t trust me, eh?” said Deep Bone.
    “That’s right.”
    “Er…supposin’ I was to tell you a little piece of free news information for gratis and nothin’. A lick of the lolly. A little taste, as you might say.”
    “Go on…”
    “It wasn’t Vetinari who stabbed the other man. It was another man.”
    William wrote this down, and then looked at it.
    “Exactly how helpful is this?” he said.
    “That’s a good bit of news, that is. Hardly anyone knows it.”
    “There’s not a lot to know! Isn’t there a description?”
    “He’s got a dog bite on his ankle,” said Deep Bone.
    “That’ll make him easy to find in the street, won’t it? What are you expecting me to do, try a little surreptitious trouser lifting?”
    Deep Bone sounded hurt. “That’s kosher news, that is. It’d worry certain people, if you put that in your paper.”
    “Yes, they’d worry that I’d gone mad! You’ve got to tell me something better than that! Can you give me a description?”
    Deep Bone went silent for a while, and when it spoke again it sounded uncertain.
    “You mean, what he looked like?” it said.
    “Well, yes!”
    “Ah…well, it dun’t work like that with dogs, see? What w—what your average dog does, basic’ly, is look up . People are mostly just a wall with a pair of nostril holes at the top, is my point.”
    “Not a lot of help, then,” said William. “Sorry we can’t do busin—”
    “What he smells like, now, that’s somethin’ else,” said the voice of Deep Bone, hurriedly.
    “All right, tell me what he smells like.”
    “Do I see a pile of cash in front of me? I don’t think so.”
    “Well, Mr. Bone, I’m not even going to think about getting that kind of money together until I’ve got some proof that you really know something.”
    “All right,” said the voice from the shadows, after a while. “You know there’s a Committee to Unelect the