The Twelve Kingdoms: A Thousand Leagues of Wind

separated forever from your home.
    All the time? Just how many kaikyaku do you think there are in this world?
    With a huff, Suzu turned her back and returned to the stateroom.

    The stateroom was filled with the smell of oil. It had repulsed her at first, but she'd gotten used to it. Still, if you stayed inside for long, the rolling motion of the boat and the smell made you sick to your stomach. That was why, when there was good weather, most of the passengers went out on the deck. Right now, Suzu was alone in the room.
    The stateroom was split into two large areas where everybody slept. For the time being, there was a section for men and a section for women, but only because there were so few passengers.
    Suzu sat down and let out a breath. From behind her, she heard that annoying voice.
    "Hey, Suzu, quit giving me those looks the way you do."
    Suzu didn't turn around. She pulled her luggage toward her as if she were busy. She opened a package inside the trunk. "What are you talking about?"
    "That sailor got on my case. He thought I was teasing you or something."
    "Oh?"
    The light footsteps approached her. Seishuu sat down next to her. "What are you so mad at me for?"
    "I'm not mad at anything."
    "What a big baby."
    Hearing his exaggerated sigh, she glared at him. " I'm an adult, that's why I'm not mad. I don't let myself get upset by what children do."
    Seishuu gave Suzu a brief, searching look.
    "What?"
    "You look like an easy-going person on the outside, but you're a sourpuss underneath."
    Suzu turned on him. "What's that supposed to mean?"
    "Nobody's ever said that to you before? You really can be a pain."
    Although knowing that if she lost her temper, she'd lose the argument, Suzu couldn't keep the blood from rushing to her head. Almost without realizing it, she hit him. "Shut up!"
    Riyou. Kouko. Everybody hates me. Everybody has it in for me.
    Seishuu's eyes flew open. He laughed. "I don't believe it! I'm right!'
    "Get out of here!"
    "Nobody likes to hear the truth about themselves."
    "I said, get lost!"
    "Does it hurt your feeling that much, telling you that lots of people are just like you? I wasn't wrong. Lots of people can't ever go home again. It's tough for everybody. There's nothing special about you. But you don't get it, that's what makes you such a meanie."
    "I hate you!" Suzu couldn't take it anymore and broke down in tears. The truth did hurt. Nobody she'd met in this world had liked her. Nobody understood her. Nobody ever felt sorry for her.
    But why? "Why does everybody pick on me? Riyou, you, what do you all have against me? What did I ever do to you!?"
    "Who's Riyou?"
    "The mistress of Suibi Grotto, in Sai."
    It all gushed out of her. How cruel Riyou was. How demanding she was. All the hardships Suzu had suffered. How she was rescued by the Royal Sai, who turned around and kicked her out of the palace. But saying all this wouldn't make a bit of difference to a child like him.
    "It's too bad, Suzu. You're more of a kid than I am."
    "What?"
    "Do you like yourself, Suzu?"
    Suzu shot him a surprised look.
    "Do you think you're a good person?"
    "Not really." She was so miserable all the time.
    "So it's hardly surprising that other people don't like you either, huh? After all, don't people put themselves first, and always think of themselves first?"
    Suzu gaped at him.
    "It's asking an awful lot, expecting other people to like you when you don't even like yourself."
    "I didn't mean--" Suzu hastily arranged her thoughts. "That's not what I meant! Of course I like myself. Who doesn't? But nobody ever tells me! I don't like the me that nobody else likes. That's what I meant."
    "So, does that make the people who don't like you bad people? What if you changed your attitude and became a likeable person? But that's a reach for you, too. So you end up being disagreeable. Nothing more. End of story."
    "You don't understand!" Suzu wrung her hands together. "You don't understand me! It's because I'm a kaikyaku! Kaikyaku are different from people like you! That's why you all hate me for no reason at all!"
    "You know, I can't stand people like you." Seishuu took a breath and let it out.
    "Who wants to be like that? Trying to be unhappier than anybody else, then taking the easy way out and blaming your unhappiness for all your problems."
    Suzu gasped. She detested this little runt to a degree that made her dizzy.
    "It's really dumb," he continued. "All you can do is brag about how unluckier you are than everybody