The Villa

right lecturing her, and Maddy intended to make that very clear after the woman had blown off steam.
    Pilar poured herself a demitasse of the espresso she'd brewed for the tiramisu. She sat across from Maddy at the table, sipped. "I should warn you I have an advantage here as I not only was a fourteen-year-old girl, but was once the mother of one."
    "You're not my mother."
    "No, I'm not. And it's hard, isn't it, to have a woman come into your home this way? I'm trying to think how I'd feel about it. Probably very much the way you do. Annoyed, nervous, resentful. It's easier for Theo. He's a boy and doesn't know the things we know."
    Maddy opened her mouth, then shut it again when she realized she didn't know how to respond.
    "You've been in charge a long time. Your men wouldn't agree, would likely be insulted by that statement," she added and was pleased to see the faint smirk curve Maddy's lips. "But the female force, a smart female force, usually pushes the buttons. You've done a good job keeping these guys in line, and I'm not here to take your control away."
    "You're already changing things. Actions have reactions. It's scientific. I'm not stupid."
    "No, you're smart." Scared little girl, Pilar thought, with a grown-up brain. "I always wanted to be smart, and never felt smart enough. I compensated, I think, by being good, being quiet, keeping peace. Those actions had reactions, too."
    "If you keep quiet, nobody listens."
    "You're absolutely right. Your father… he makes me feel smart enough and strong enough to say what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. That's a powerful thing. You already know that."
    Maddy frowned down at the table. "I guess."
    "I admire him, Maddy—the man he is, the father he is. That's powerful, too. I don't expect you to throw out the welcome mat for me, but I'm hoping you won't lock the door in my face."
    "Why do you care what I do?"
    "Couple of reasons. I like you. Sorry, but it's true. I like your independence, and your mind, and your sense of family loyalty. I imagine if I wasn't involved with your father, we'd get along very well. But I am involved with him, and I'm taking some of his time and attention away from you. I'd say I was sorry about that, but we'd both know it wasn't true. I want some of his time and attention, too. Because, Maddy, another reason I care what you do is I'm in love with your father."
    Pilar pushed her cup away and, pressing a hand to her stomach, rose. "I haven't said that out loud before. That habit of keeping quiet, I suppose. Boy. Feels strange."
    Maddy shifted in her chair. She was sitting up now, ramrod straight. And her own stomach was jumping. "My mother loved him, too. Enough to marry him."
    "I'm sure she did. She—"
    "No! You're going to make all the excuses, all the reasons why. And they're all bullshit. All of them. When it wasn't just exactly the way she wanted, she left us. That's the truth. We didn't matter."
    Her first instinct, always, was to comfort. Console. There were a dozen things she could say to soothe, but this little girl with wet, defiant eyes wouldn't hear them.
    Why should she? Pilar decided.
    "No, you're right. You didn't matter enough." Pilar sat again. She wanted to reach out, to draw this young girl close. But it wasn't the way, or the time. "I know what it's like not to matter enough. I do, Maddy," she said firmly, laying a hand over the girl's before she could jerk away.
    "How sad and angry it makes you feel, how the questions and doubts and wishes run through your head in the middle of the night."
    "Adults can come and go whenever they want. Kids can't."
    "That's right. Your father didn't leave. You mattered to him. You and Theo matter most to him. You know that nothing I could say or do or be will change that."
    "Other things could change. And when one thing does, others do. It's cause and effect."
    "Well, I can't promise you that things won't change. Things do. People do. But right now your father makes me happy. And I make him happy. I don't want to hurt you because of that, Maddy. I can promise to try very hard not to hurt you or Theo. To respect what you think and what you feel. I can promise that."
    "He was my father first," Maddy said in a fierce whisper.
    "And he'll be your fattier last. Always. If I wanted to change that, if I wanted for some reason to ruin that, I couldn't. Don't you know how much he loves you? You could make him choose. Look at me, Maddy. Look at me," she said quietly and waited for the girl's