The Vincent Boys 02 - The Vincent Brothers

broke.
    “No. Now tell me what you meant by all that.”
    Another sob broke free and she shook her head angrily. “NO. You don’t get to demand answers. I don’t tell people much. I keep my emotions inside. But last night, I wanted to tell you ,” she let out a short sad laugh. “I thought I might have someone who wanted to listen. Someone who would care. But I was wrong.”
    “No, you weren’t. I do care. I want you to talk to me.”
    “Too late,” she growled, pulling against the hold I had on her.
    “I was wrong last night Lana. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please, please forgive me. It’ll never happen again,” I paused, unsure if I was ready to bare my soul to her.
    “You’re right. It won’t happen again. Because I’m done with trying to make people care about me. I shouldn’t have to work so hard to get those that I love to love me back. No one else has to try so damn hard. No one. Just me. Just Lana McDaniel. I’ve had it. If I am so difficult to want then I don’t need anyone. I’ve managed alone this far. I’m a freaking pro!”
    If it was possible for someone else’s pain to break your heart then Lana’s pain had just shattered mine. Emotion burned my throat as I tightened my hold on her. I’d wanted inside her head. She was so closed off and I’d wondered why. Now I knew. She didn’t trust anyone enough to let them in—until last night. She’d decided she could let me in, and what had I done? I’d thrown her trust in her face. God, I was the world’s biggest idiot.
    “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Can you forgive me? Can you trust me to put you first? I swear what happened last night will never happen again. It was the first time I’d had to deal with something like that since the break-up. When Beau came back and Ashton scrambled into his lap and arms with desperation to be near him. It didn’t hurt the way I thought it would. It just slapped some sense into me. She didn’t need me anymore. She wasn’t mine to protect. I could move on. It was time. Last night was a closure I needed.” I stopped and grabbed Lana’s shoulders and turned her around to face me. Her red swollen eyes just about sent me to my knees.
    “This is new for me. I’m learning how to have a relationship with someone other than Ashton. I made a horrible mistake. It was like a relapse. But you,” I reached up and tucked the tear dampened hair that had worked its way loose behind her ear. “You touch a place inside of me that Ashton never did. I feel things with you I never felt for her. I loved her for a very long time. I can’t help the fact I still want to be there if she needs me. Next time there is a choice to make it will be you I choose first. I can promise you that.”
    Lana searched my face as if she was waiting for more. I wasn’t sure what else I could say.
    “It isn’t easy always being second best. Soon, I’ll be third best with my dad. I keep getting pushed down the list with him. Maybe that makes me selfish but I just need there to be someone who I can run to. Last night I was running to you,” she paused and swallowed. “You would think after the rejection I’ve been dealt in my life that I’d be used to it. But it doesn’t get easier. Not really. It makes you cautious. It makes you careful not to get your hopes up. I got my hopes up with you. It’ll be hard for me to hand that kind of trust over again. This doesn’t mean we can’t still see each other this summer. It just means we need to take a few steps back. We sped forward the other night in the tent. Now, we need to back up.”
    She was forgiving me. I could earn her trust again. She’d open up to me again and I’d be ready for it. I would be there when she needed me.
    “Fair enough,” I replied. I slipped a finger under her chin and tilted her head back. “I need to kiss you now.”
    “Okay,” she whispered as my lips touched hers.
    Lana
    Beau had the camp packed up and strapped down on top of the Suburban when we arrived back at the campsite. He said Ashton needed to sleep in a decent bed tonight and we were all going to go to a hotel then head home in the morning. No one argued with him. I think we all were ready for a real bed anyway. I almost sighed in relief.
    I told Jake to sit up front with Sawyer and said I’d sit in the back beside Ashton. I just wasn’t ready to spend any more time with Sawyer right now. I’d forgiven him but my heart was still