The Wit And Wisdom Of Discworld

sixpence ‘cos it’s fiddly work, bein’ so small and havin’ that hole in the middle. The thru-penny bit, sir, we’ve only got a couple of people makin’ those, a lot of work which runs out at seven pence. And don’t ask me about the tuppenny piece!’
    ‘What about the tuppenny piece?’
    ‘I’m glad you asked me that, sir. Fine work, sir, tots up to seven and one-sixteenth pence.’

INDEX
    A
    absentmindedness, 111, 225
    Aching, Tiffany, 247-50, 259-63, 283-6
    advertising
    of moving pictures, 85-6
    of whiskey, 128
    Albert, 34, 35, 37, 38, 39, 133-4, 168-9,172, 226
    alchemists, 82
    Angua, Sergeant, 125, 128, 129, 159, 160, 161, 162, 181
    as werewolf, 159, 161, 183, 279
    Ankh (river), 14, 35, 43, 47, 54, 57, 82, 84, 135
    Ankh-Morpork, 22, 23, 33, 43, 47, 57, 62, 67, 81, 82, 84, 127-8, 169, 207, 215, 218, 270, 277
    and barbarian invaders, 75
    as haven for deposed royalty, 60
    crime in, 13, 29, 54, 66, 67, 136-7, 163, 234, 269
    economic activity in, 13, 47, 127-8, 133, 136-7
    fire brigade, 180
    founding of, 58
    gangs in, 275
    government, 40, 67
    guilds, 57, 66, 68, 133, 161, 182, 235, 269 289
    history 23, 86, 135, 138
    medicine in, 68-9
    Opera House, 154
    patriotism in, 235
    populace, 46, 67, 68, 138, 180, 181, 218, 269
    Post Office, 267
    smell of, 23, 29
    See also Ankh, Harga’s House of Ribs, Mended Drum, Shades, Unseen University, Vetinari, Watch
    anti-crimes, 93
    Anybody, Rob, 249-50, 260, 262, 284, 286
    architecture, 51, 59, 60, 87 120, 154
    See also Johnson
    armaments, as product of Age of Reason, 136
    inventors of, 163, 169-70
    art
    Colon on, 276
    modern, 276
    AshkEnte, Rite of, 39, 75
    assassination
    for career advancement, 34, 81, 92, 135, 142, 189
    of surplus monarchs, 60
    assassins, 57, 167, 235
    Assassins’ Guild School, 57, 233, 268
    astrophysics, 13
    A’Tuin, Great, 13, 43, 71, 113
    Auditors, the, 213, 216
    autocondimenting, 94
    B
    balance, need for, 97
    baldness, 128, 171
    banking, 291-2
    baths: Granny Weatherwax on, 104
    beards, 82, 267
    beer, 45, 47, 82, 190
    bees, 75
    belief, 95, 173
    in gods, 92, 95, 101, 224, 227-8
    power of, 129
    beliefs, questionable popular, 84, 96, 126, 163, 224, 226, 260, 267
    See also superstition Bent, Mr, 291
    Biers, 168
    blasphemy, 58, 127
    Blouse, Lieutenant, 253, 255
    books
    Cohen on, 20
    crimes against, Librarian on, 68
    Granny Weatherwax on, 27, 283
    holiday reading, 189
    impractical ideas from, 182, 196, 203
    Leonard of Quirm’s, 136
    magical, 24, 43-4, 65, 85, 129
    magic generated by, 29, 70
    Necrotelicomiiicon, the, 85
    Octavo, the, 24
    Post Office Regulations, 270
    prayer book as protection in battle, 180-1
    Reader in The Lavatory’s theory about, 135
    unwritten, 112
    Where’s My Cow?, 278
    See also Library, L-space
    bookworm, .303, 59
    boots
    crêpe soles, 136
    Tiffany Aching on, 259
    Vimes on, 125
    boredom, of Hell, 77
    bravery, 28
    Broken Drum see Mended Drum broomsticks, 27, 102, 152
    Brutha, 111, 197
    Bursar, the (Unseen University), 39, 93, 94, 96, 135, 190
    business management, 19
    C
    cabbage, boiled, 29
    Campaign for Equal Heights, 162
    Carrot, see Ironfoundersson
    cats, 120, 217, 239, 240, 242, 259, 284
    and vampires, 103
    Death’s fondness for, 43, 226
    Mr Tiddles, 267
    sacred, 58
    Susan on, 169
    See also Greebo, Maurice chance, million-to-one, 30
    charisma, 144
    children
    and Hogswatch, 138, 168-9, 171-2
    as posterity, 43, 226
    capabilities of, 214
    normal behaviour of, 167
    special needs, 214
    children’s stories, 138, 167
    Tiffany Aching on, 248
    Where’s My Cow?, 278
    chocolate, 193, 202, 219, 256
    in Ankh-Morpork, 218
    circus, 260-1
    clerks, dark, 268
    cliché, inevitability of, 48, 137, 241
    clock cuckoos, 217
    Clodpool, 213, 215, 216
    clowns, 127, 261
    Cohen the Barbarian, 20-1, 142-6, 225, 226
    and women, 20
    fighting technique, 21, 144, 145-6
    on the greatest things in life, 20, 142-3
    on the value of books, 20
    Colon, Sergeant Frederick, 128, 129, 180-1, 231, 276, 279
    and marriage, 67
    appearance, 67, 125
    mental powers, 177, 178, 183, 201, 275
    on Art, 275
    on protocol, 178, 179-80, 201
    policing abilities, 178, 179-80, 275
    Cool, Monks of, 122
    conspiracy theory, 276
    Cori Celesti, 19
    Cosmopilite, Mrs Marietta, 84
    Way of Mrs Cosmopilite, the, 216
    Counting Pines, 92
    crime
    Mr Pump on, 268-9
    punishment for, 163
    Vimes on, 129
    See also Ankh-Morpork, anti-crimes
    Cripslock, Sacharissa, 209, 210, 290
    D
    dancing
    in witchcraft, 53, 259
    Lancre Stick and Bucket Dance, 122
    Morris dance, 97, 286
    Darktan (rat), 240,