This Girl: A Novel

girl’s cheek, smiling.
    Crying.
    Laughing.
    “I don’t want to count her fingers or toes,” Lake whispers. “I don’t care if she has two toes or three fingers or fifty feet. I love her so much, Will. She’s perfect.”
    She is perfect. So perfect. “Just like her mom,” I say.
    I lean my head against Lake’s and we just stare. We stare at the daughter who is so much more than I could have asked for. The daughter who is so much more than I dreamt of. So much more than I ever thought I would have. This girl. This baby girl is my life. Her mother is my life. These girls are both my life.
    I reach down and pick up her hand. Her tiny fingers reflexively wrap around my pinky and I can’t choke back my tears any longer. “Hey, Julia. It’s me. It’s your daddy.”

my final piece
    We’re born into the world
    As just one small piece to the puzzle
    That makes up an entire life .
    It’s up to us throughout our years,
    to find all of our pieces that fit .
    The pieces that connect who we are
    To who we were
    To who we’ll one day be .
    Sometimes pieces will almost fit.
    They’ll feel right.
    We’ll carry them around for a while,
    Hoping they’ll change shape .
    Hoping they’ll conform to our puzzle.
    But they won’t .
    We’ll eventually have to let them go .
    To find the puzzle that is their home.
    Sometimes pieces won’t fit at all .
    No matter how much we want them to.
    We’ll shove them.
    We’ll bend them.
    We’ll break them.
    But what isn’t meant to be,
    won’t be.
    Those are the hardest pieces of all to accept.
    The pieces of our puzzle
    That just don’t belong .
    But occasionally . . .
    Not very often at all ,
    If we’re lucky ,
    If we pay enough attention ,
    We’ll find a
    perfect match .
    The pieces of the puzzle that slide right in
    The pieces that hug the contours of our own pieces.
    The pieces that lock to us.
    The pieces that we lock to .
    The pieces that fit so well , we can’t tell where our piece begins
    And that piece ends .
    Those pieces we call
    Friends .
    True loves .
    Dreams .
    Passions .
    Beliefs .
    Talents .
    They’re all the pieces that complete our puzzles .
    They line the edges ,
    Frame the corners ,
    Those pieces are the pieces that make us who we are .
    Who we were .
    Who we’ll one day be .
    Up until today,
    When I looked at my own puzzle,
    I would see a finished piece .
    I had the edges lined ,
    The corners framed ,
    The center filled .
    It felt like it was complete.
    All the pieces were there span>.
    I had everything I wanted .
    Everything I needed .
    Everything I dreamt of.
    But up until today,
    I realized I had collected all
    but one piece .
    The most vital piece.
    The piece that completes the picture .
    The piece that completes my whole life .
    I held this girl in my arms
    She wrapped her tiny fingers around mine .
    It was then that I realized
    She was the fusion .
    The glue .
    The cement that bound all my pieces together.
    The piece that seals my puzzle .
    The piece that completes my life .
    The element that makes me who I am .
    Who I was.
    Who I’ll one day be .
    You , baby girl.
    You’re my final piece .

acknowledgments
    I would like to thank my agent, Jane Dystel. Your work ethic is inspiring and you are doing exactly what you were born to do. Without your support, advice, and honesty, I know I wouldn’t be where I am today. And to each and every person in the Dystel & Goderich offices, thank you for your constant support of the authors you represent. And a special thanks to Lauren Abramo. Thank you, gracias, dank u, merci, danke, grazie.
    I would also like to thank my editor, Johanna Castillo. You have been an absolute joy to work with and I look forward to many more years together. Thank you for constantly being so positive and supportive.
    It’s bittersweet knowing that this is the final book in the Slammed series. On one hand, I’m happy to say goodbye to Will and Lake and the gang. They deserve their happy ending. But on the other hand, I’ll miss these characters who completely changed my life. It might be a little odd to acknowledge the characters of a book, but I want to thank each and every one of them. After being inside their heads for a year and a half now, I feel like I’m saying goodbye to friends.
    And the biggest thank-you of all I’m reserving for fans of this series. Those of you who read the books. Those of you who asked for a sequel. Those of you who took the time to email me and let me know how the books touched you. Those of