This Is Where I Leave You

what they’ve heard or what they’ll now miss.
    “Alice is ovulating,” Mom explains.
    Some of the women nod with understanding while their husbands grin stupidly and look up at the ceiling. The low buzz of hushed conversations slowly returns, like a machine powering up, but a short while later, Paul comes downstairs to sit in his shiva chair and the visitors fall silent, trying not to stare at him. Trying and failing. He looks around the room quizzically, then down at his shirt. He checks his fly. “What?” he says, looking over at me. “What’s going on?”
    Before I can answer, Uncle Stan stands up and begins to clap, his large, gnarled hands coming together with the mild clink of pinky rings, a doddering, bent standing ovation of one.
    “Sit down before you fall down, old man,” Mom says. Paul looks around one more time, then shrugs and leans over to me, making a sour face.
    “Who farted?” he says.

Chapter 27
    9:30 p.m.
    Penny shows up as the shiva is winding down for the night. “Hey,”
    she says, taking the empty chair in front of my seat. She’s wearing a black sundress and sandals, her skater’s legs crossed tantalizingly at eye level. “I’ve never paid a shiva call before.”
    “You’re doing great,” I say.
    “Some old perv pinched my butt on the stairs as I was coming in.”
    “That’s my uncle Stan. He’s harmless.”
    “Tell that to my butt cheek. It’s like he wanted to take a piece with him.”
    “Hello, Penny,” Mom says.
    “Hi, Mrs. Foxman. I’m so sorry about Mort.”
    “Thank you. He was very fond of you.”
    “He was such a nice man. We all miss him down at the store.”
    “Well, it was very nice of you to come see us.”
    “I’m just sorry it’s taken this long. You know we keep the store open until nine in the summer.”
    “Penny is the only one Dad trusted to close up and turn on the alarm,” Paul says.
    “It’s not exactly rocket science,” Penny says, blushing. Then, noticing Wendy, “Oh my God, Wendy! I didn’t recognize you.”
    “That’s because, unlike you, I’ve actually had the decency to age. Look at you. I bet they still card you in bars.”
    “Hardly,” Penny says, shifting nervously under Wendy’s unflinching scrutiny.
    “I mean, Jesus,” Wendy says, shaking her head. “What are you, a size two?”

    9:50 p.m.
    The visitors are all gone, and the house has fallen quiet. Penny and I sit in the dark by the pool’s edge with our feet in the water. The only light comes from two submerged pool lamps, so all we can see is a fi ne mist rising up off the heated water. “So, how are you doing?” she says.
    “Fine, I guess. It’s a lot of family time. I think we’re going to need a year off from each other when this is over.”
    She nods, tracing little circles in the water with her toes. “I live around the corner from my parents. My mother has macular degeneration; she can’t see well enough to drive anymore. So I take her grocery shopping every Tuesday and I have dinner with them every Sunday night.”
    “That’s nice, isn’t it?”
    She shrugs. “It can be, with the right mix of meds. God, it’s hot out here.”
    “Yeah. It’s been like this all week. Muggy as hell.”
    “You’d think it would get cooler at night.”
    “Yeah. Not lately.”
    “Oh God, Judd. Listen to us. We’re talking about the weather. Are we avoiding something, or do we simply have nothing to say to each other?”
    “Conversation was never a problem for us.”
    “Well, then, let’s put a moratorium on small talk, okay?”
    “Deal.”
    “And for God’s sake, let’s get in the water already.” She stands up, and I can’t quite see her eyes, but I know they’re daring me. “Turn around,” she says.
    I do, and a few seconds later I hear a light splash as she slides into the water. I turn around and see the dark pile of her dress on the ground. I pull off my polo shirt and my cargo pants. I hesitate for a moment when it comes to my boxer briefs. To doff or not to doff, that is the question. How did Penny answer it? In the dim light coming up from the depths of the pool, it’s impossible to say. I slide into the pool with my underpants on. Better safe than sorry.
    This Is Where I Leave You She holds on to a rung of the ladder while I tread water a foot or so in front of her. After a few moments, my eyes have adjusted enough that I can look into hers. I flash back to Horry and Wendy, looking at each other in this exact spot a few hours