Thud!

sir.”
    Vimes hesitated. “I’ve got to be there, Captain.”
    “We should have enough men, sir,” said Carrot.
    “But you won’t have enough commander ,” said Vimes. “If Vetinari hauls me over the coals tomorrow because there was a major riot in the city center, I don’t want to tell him I was having a quiet evening at home.” He turned to his wife. “Sorry, Sybil.”
    Lady Sybil sighed. “I think I shall have to have a word with Havelock about the hours he makes you keep,” she said. “It’s not doing you any good, you know.”
    “It’s the job, dear. Sorry.”
    “It’s just as well I got the cook to make up a flask of soup, then.”
    “You did?”
    “Of course. I know you, Sam. And there’re some sandwiches in a bag. Captain Carrot, you are to make sure he eats the apple and the banana. Dr. Lawn says he must eat at least five pieces of fruit or vegetables every day!”
    Vimes stared woodenly at Carrot and Sally, trying to project the warning that the first officer to crack a smile or even mention this to anyone, ever ever ever, would have a very hard time of it indeed.
    “And, incidentally, tomato ketchup is not a vegetable,” Sybil added. “Not even the dried stuff ’round the top of the bottle. Well, what are you all waiting around for?”

“T here’s something I didn’t want to mention in front of her ladyship,” said Carrot as they hurried down to the Yard. “Er… Hitherto is dead, sir.”
    “Who’s Hitherto?”
    “Lance Constable Horace Hitherto, sir? Got walloped on the back of the head last night? When we were at that meeting? When there was that, er, ‘disturbance’? Got sent to the Free Hospital?”
    “Oh, gods…” said Vimes. “It seems like a week ago. He’d only been with us a couple of months!”
    “They said at the hospital his brain died, sir. I’m sure they did their best.”
    Did we do ours? Vimes wondered. But it was a bloody melee, and the cobblestone came out of nowhere. Could have hit me, could have hit Carrot. Hit the kid, instead. What’ll I tell his parents? Killed in the line of duty? But his duty shouldn’t have been to stop one lot of idiot citizens murdering another lot of idiot citizens.
    It’s all got out of hand. There aren’t enough of us. And now there’s a few less.
    “I’ll go and see his mum and dad tomor—” he began, and sluggish memory shifted at last. “Does—didn’t he have a brother in the Watch?”
    “Yessir,” said Carrot. “Lance Constable Hector Hitherto, sir. They joined together. He’s down at Chittling Street.”
    “Then get hold of his sergeant and tell him Hector is not allowed on the street tonight, okay? I want him introduced to the joys of filing. In a cellar, if possible. And wearing a very thick helmet.”
    “I understand, sir,” said Carrot.
    “How’s Angua?”
    “I think she’ll be fine after having a lie-down, sir. The mine really got to her.”
    “I’m really, really sorry about that—” Sally began.
    “Not your fault, lance constable…Sally,” said Vimes. “It was mine. I know about the vampire and werewolf thing, but I needed you both to be down there. It’s just one of those decisions, okay? I suggest you take the evening off. No, that’s an order. You’ve done very well on your first day. Off you go. Get your head down…or whatever.”
    They watched her out of sight before continuing down the street.
    “She is very good, sir,” said Carrot. “She picks things up fast.”
    “Yes, very fast. I can see she’s going to be useful,” said Vimes thoughtfully. “Doesn’t that strike you as odd, Captain? Up she pops, just when we need her.”
    “She has been here for a couple of months, though,” said Carrot. “And the League vouches for her.”
    “A couple of months is about the same time as Hamcrusher’s been here, too,” said Vimes. “And if you wanted to find things out, we’re not a bad outfit to join. We’re official prodnoses.”
    “Sir, you don’t think—”
    “Oh, I’m sure she’s a Black Ribboner, but I don’t think a vampire comes all the way from Uberwald to play the cello. Still, as you say, she does a good job.” Vimes stared at nothing for a moment and then said thoughtfully: “Doesn’t one of our Specials work for the clacks company?”
    “That’d be Andy Hancock, sir,” said Carrot.
    “Oh gods. You mean Two Swords?”
    “That’s him, sir. Very keen lad.”
    “Yes, I saw the dockets. Normally a training dummy lasts for months,