Touched by an Alien

you be so cavalier about it? He’s dead!”
    Martini put his hands on my shoulders and gave me a little shake. “Look at me. No, right at me, Kitty.” He waited until our eyes were locked. “This is what we do. Every day of our lives. You want to know why we don’t want our women out here? Now you know, in the harshest way possible. Old-fashioned? Yes. But we don’t have an entire population to draw from. We lose one girl, we lose reproduction, and that heads us that much faster toward extinction. Every single one of us who works in the field knows the risks. Every one of your military personnel knows also. Maybe their families don’t, maybe their families don’t understand, but the fighting men and women who work with us do. No one comes to assist us who isn’t trained for extraterrestrial situations, and no one comes who isn’t prepared to die.”
    “No one’s prepared to die. People pretend, but no one’s ready for it.”
    “We’ll argue that later. Right now, you have to get yourself under control. You’re the leader, right? The leader has to keep it together, or everyone else falls apart. It sucks, but that’s how it is.”
    I looked up at him. He’d been doing this his whole life, he and Christopher both. No wonder they were exhausted. “Who was he?”
    Martini understood what I was asking. “He was the one you liked, the one who called you ma’am.”

CHAPTER 46
    I WANTED TO CRY —my eyes were certainly filled with tears. But I didn’t let them fall. Because Cox had thought I was his superior officer, and I knew Martini was right—Cox wouldn’t have wanted his superior to break down while still engaged with the enemy. “Let’s find the last two parasites.”
    Martini nodded. “That’s my girl.” He put his hand to my chin. “It’s a war, baby. You have to remember that.”
    “But I don’t have to like it.”
    “None of us like it.” He gave me a small smile. “If we enjoyed it, we’d be like what we’re fighting against.”
    I nodded. “Let’s go.”
    I had two aerosols left, and I gave one to Martini and took the other for myself. I also got the Glock out again. We headed back toward Reader, both looking for anything that might be a parasite or parasite parts. But we didn’t spot a thing.
    Reader hugged me when we got back to him. “We’ll talk about it when we get back, okay?” he said quietly.
    “Sure.” I leaned my head on his shoulder. It was a comfortable place to be.
    Martini cleared his throat. “Still more than a little jealous over here.”
    Reader chuckled as I moved away from him. “You should be, Jeff. If I ever go straight or bi, I’m stealing her away from you.”
    “I’ll keep it in mind.” Martini pulled me next to him. “That’s better.”
    I forced myself to focus. “How are we going to find the other two parasites?”
    My walkie crackled again. Claudia’s voice came on. At least, I was pretty sure it was her voice, filtered through tears. “We’ve found the next one. It’s about half a mile from where you are, to your right. We’re hovering over it.”
    More than anything else, this snapped me back. Cox flew with these guys, and they were still doing their jobs. So I had to do mine. “Thanks, Claudia. Talk us to it if we get off track.”
    “Will do.”
    The three of us headed toward the jet. “Are we heading toward the Killer’s area?”
    “Yeah, girlfriend, we are. Jeff, you sure you should be walking around here?”
    “Well, I could let the two of you face it alone, but since I’m not an armchair commander, I think I’ll come along.”
    “Can whatever the Killer sprayed out get to us through our shoes?” I didn’t like the sound of this.
    “We don’t know,” Martini answered.
    I stopped walking. “Hang on.” I pulled out the walkie. “Lorraine, I need a lift.”
    Someone sniffled. “Okay. We’ll be right there.” Well, all three of us were getting trained in what this was like. I wondered if we’d ever be the same again, and I knew the answer.
    “Me, not you,” Martini snapped.
    “Ha. You, as has been proved, can catch me. I know I can’t catch you. Plus, I had the most sadistic track coaches in the history of the sport. I can climb a rope.”
    “So can I.” He sounded a tad defensive.
    “Good to know. We can play Tarzan and Jane later, then.”
    “Have I mentioned lately that you’re the perfect woman?”
    “Not often enough these past few hours.” The jet was above us, and it was hard to hear.