Touched by an Alien

wasn’t too upset by my boss, half of my coworkers, my best male friend, some of my sorority sisters, my two best girlfriends, the guy at Blockbuster, and my landlord checking in on me earlier, but apparently my mother, who is on a business trip in New York, saw her only child tackle a terrorist on the six o’clock news, and she’s a little freaked.”
    White looked at the man I recognized as the one who’d been the recipient of my car keys. “What the hell happened, Christopher?”
    Christopher shrugged. “I keep telling you, handheld electronics make our jobs a lot harder. Someone got the entire thing on their video cell phone and streamed it on the Net. We were able to alter the superbeing to look like he was carrying a load of explosives and semiautomatic weapons. No time for anything else, including editing out the princess here.”
    I decided to hate him. “Just where is my car?”
    Christopher gave me a lazy grin. “It’s parked somewhere safe. But not at your apartment. I fed your fish, though.”
    “Aren’t you Mr. Thoughtful.”
    “Better than being the Horndog.”
    White interrupted this exchange of wit. “So the entire world has seen her, not just the local news?”
    Christopher shrugged. “Sounds like it.”
    I went back to the phone. “Dad, I’m with Homeland Security. Everything’s okay. I used the pen you gave me to stop the lunatic. I didn’t get hurt, and I’m not in trouble, just taking care of debriefs and that sort of stuff.”
    “So, you did tackle a terrorist?” I could hear pride and fear warring for dominance. “I didn’t see it, I’ve been with my grad students all day, prepping for finals and summer session.” In other words, a typical day in early May for my dad. At least one of us had the comfort of a routine going on.
    “I didn’t know he was a terrorist, Dad. I just sort of … reacted. One of those once-in-a-lifetime hero things. Nothing to worry about.”
    “Right.” He sighed. “Well, your mother will be relieved to know you’re okay, and probably more thrilled about this than I am. You sure the Homeland Security people aren’t going to ship you off to Guantánamo Bay?”
    “Dad, would they have let me keep my cell if they were doing that?” Of course, the reality was they just hadn’t found it or snatched it away from me, but for some reason, I felt that I had to protect them. White, for one, was looking particularly grateful.
    “I suppose. I’ll call you every couple of hours, just in case. If you don’t answer, I’m calling the police. Where are you, now? Still in town?”
    “Not exactly.” I thought like mad. “They took me to Vegas. Apparently there’s some big Homeland Security facility there.”
    “In Vegas?” he asked, clearly incredulous. “We have a Federal building downtown and they took you to Sin City?”
    “Perfect cover. Who would suspect?” I was amazed at how easily making this crap up was coming to me. Martini looked particularly impressed, and even Christopher seemed to be sneering at me a little less.
    “Makes sense. Did they give you the pen back?”
    “Yes, Dad. They took all the samples they needed, cleaned it, and it’s back in my possession.” That was my father in a nutshell—do you still have the expensive gift I got you? Not that he was materialistic, it’s just that spending large sums made him nervous, so it was a real occasion when he did.
    “Good. Okay, check your watch, let’s make sure we’re on the same time.”
    “Dad, for God’s sake.”
    “Fine, fine. I’ll set the alarm so I’ll wake up in the night, too.”
    This was going to be hell, but then again, how did I know they weren’t going to do something to me? “Okay, Dad. But if, like at four in the morning, I tell you to not call again, you’ll understand, right?”
    “Sure, Kitty. I know you’re a grump when you wake up, just like your mother. Maybe we’ll take the calling in shifts.”
    “Dad, Mom’s going to have jet lag. Let her sleep.”
    “Her daughter just stopped a terrorist. I think she’ll be wired.”
    “Great, then yeah, let her call, too. Maybe the rest of the family can go round robin with it.”
    “Great idea! I’ll make some calls between now and the next two hours.”
    “Dad … joke. Really, a joke. Please don’t call anyone else. I think the Department is worried I’ll become a target for attack. Let’s not give them any reason to be right.” I was good at this. I’d almost never lied to my