Touched by an Alien

there isn’t ready to settle down with me, like Martini is. We’ve established that. I’m sort of the open book in this library, let’s not forget. No cracks,” I said, quickly, looking up at Martini. “I really want some answers.”
    He nodded with fake solemnity, and White went on. “You’re right, there was plenty in the spaceship beyond books, and yes, we’ve been studying everything since the crash itself.”
    There was something about the way he said the word “we” that made me stop. “You aren’t really with the American government, are you?”
    “Well,” White said, as Martini gently but firmly took my arm and started me moving again, “we do have some American government people involved and in the know. But I told you already, we’re a world organization.”
    “Which world?”
    I could see I was right by the way White’s eyes shifted, just a bit. “In the car,” was all he said, though. The car was another gray limo; I decided they must be standard issue. It wasn’t the same one I’d been in before, which was a relief.
    Christopher held the door to the back seats open for me, and I climbed in, humming the Men in Black theme song. I made sure I was in the forward-facing seat, so I could see the driver as well as the other passengers.
    “They’re fictional,” Martini said. He got in and settled himself right next to me. “I’m real,” he added as he put his arm around my shoulders.
    “Real annoying,” Christopher said as he closed the door after White and Gower, then climbed into the front passenger seat. I wasn’t sure I disagreed, though I didn’t protest about the arm or the fact that Martini had pulled me closer. I felt safer next to him for some reason, illogical or not.
    Our usual driver and pilot took the wheel. “Care to tell me who this is?” I asked White.
    “James Reader,” White answered, somewhat reluctantly I thought.
    “I’m a human, like you,” Reader said, turning around and flashing me a toothy grin. “I actually was a male model, if you want an autograph.”
    I felt my jaw drop. “Oh, my God, I recognize you! You did the big Calvin Klein spread a few years ago that raised so much controversy.”
    “Which one was that ?” Gower asked. “Isn’t controversial pretty much the definition of a Calvin Klein ad campaign?”
    Reader grinned again. It was an awesome grin, making Martini’s seem just ordinary. “Mine had the most controversy. Then I retired at the height of my fame to pursue my passions. Which was the cover story for joining up with this crew.” He winked at me. “Don’t worry, babe. They’re okay. Odd in their way, but okay. I’ll look out for you, even keep the horndog here at bay if you want me to.”
    “He really is gay,” Martini said.
    “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna let anyone hassle my homegirl here,” Reader said as he turned around. “We humans have to watch each other’s backs, or you aliens are gonna take all the credit for saving the world.” Reader started the car, and we drove off.
    I looked out the windows—there were several gray SUVs moving out with us. “All the boys coming along?”
    “All the ones here, yes,” White said. “We have to make sure you’re protected.”
    “Um, why?”
    “You were identified as stopping a terrorist, who the media have decided was part of the Al Dejahl terrorist organization,” Christopher answered in a clipped tone. I got the feeling Gower was right—he wasn’t happy about this screw up. “That’ll alert any superbeings who might be in control to the fact you’re a threat.”
    “Great. So, what planet are you from?”
    Gower was the one who answered, which I found interesting. “We can’t pronounce our native language here—humans can’t understand it.”
    “Worse than Yiddish,” Martini added.
    Gower rolled his eyes. “Jeff, shut up. We’re from the Alpha Centauri system. You call our suns Alpha Centauri A and B. We call them, well, the big sun and the little sun. And our world, the world. In our own language, of course. People are more alike than you’d realize, even people from different planets.”
    “So, you’re saying you’re humans?” I was taking this very well and was rather proud of myself.
    “No, only Earth has humans. There are real differences, significant ones.”
    “We’re better in bed,” Martini whispered to me.
    “Jeff!” Gower looked as fed up as he sounded. “Give it a rest for the whole five minutes it’ll