Touchstone 1 - Stray

given it to me to use. Even with First Squad – gods, Maze was in a meeting where they were discussing breeding me or something. So was Ruuel. Even if I can manage to learn this language enough to stop sounding ridiculous and they can better understand the kind of person I am, they have no choice but to always treat me as ‘the useful stray’ above everything else, because that’s their job. On this planet I will always be more tool than person.
    I’ve put off any attempt to cut and run until after they’ve had a chance to poke me at Muina and see what happens. It just wouldn’t be fair of me to go before that. But it’s Dad’s birthday soon. Easter’s coming up. Mother’s Day. I’ve been gone about four months. I think that meeting yesterday upset me more than I realised. I didn’t do anything at all today except sit on the roof. And this diary entry sounds like I’m bipolar.
    I don’t know. I probably should have exercised, so I was too tired to think. It’s a pity First Squad is being kept so busy trying to get things back to normal. I miss the training schedule I had with Mara. I need the structure.
    Sunday, March 16
    Night Visitor
    I woke up in the middle of the ‘night’ because my chest was purring again. I was so glad. Even though it’s occurred to me that Ghost might be interested in me for exactly the same reason that the Tarens are, that for all I know I’m enhancing her the same way I do the Setari, I don’t care. She doesn’t mind if I talk to her in English. And I can hold her and play with her without feeling that she’s been assigned to me, or that she’s going to write a report about it after. She acts exactly like every other cat I’ve known, digging claws in inconveniently, chasing bits of paper and all. After a while she bored of me and went away, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be back.
    Ghost made the rest of the day bearable. Hour upon hour of tests and scans, and the worst medical exams yet. Half-dressed and trying not to cry while a fresh set of greysuits took bone marrow and spinal fluid samples. They mightn’t have cloned me yet, but it won’t be for lack of material. The greysuits are still trying to figure out what made my interface start growing again, and searching for differences between me and Tarens. Pretty soon they’ll have a complete genetic map of me, but they still don’t understand why Muina likes me.
    I spent the time between whimpering reading up on the cloning debate on Tare. They are really against it, because the clones invariably have shorter lifespans and are prone to sickness. And there’s a measurable downgrade of intelligence, too. After a day researching Taren morals and laws, I still can’t decide what they might do if the situation grows worse. Tarens don’t have any strong belief in a Creator-God, and are split between the idea of planet reverence, or pure scientific evolutionary theory. So they don’t have things like the Ten Commandments, of laws which have been handed down from God. Laws are either based on an idea that you must be grateful your planet makes it possible for you to exist, or on a fairly clinical construct of ethics in a functioning society. Funnily enough, most of the laws are very much the same as Earth’s, though there’s a real emphasis on personal responsibility. ‘Social contracts’. Doing what’s right for both yourself and for others.
    I’m feeling all social contracted out at the moment. My arm and back won’t stop aching.
    Monday, March 17
    Too much aether
    Aether sessions in the morning and then late in the afternoon, which meant I didn’t really have a day today and now don’t feel remotely tired. Which is great given that I’m supposed to go to Muina tomorrow. I’m going to go and swim a thousand laps in the hopes that I can get a few hours sleep afterwards.
    Stupid greysuits.
    Wednesday, March 19
    Loud
    We weren’t scheduled to leave for Muina until nearly (my) midday. I’d not been sure if I could get any rest before we went, but had abruptly fallen asleep a little before I would usually have had breakfast. I’d set my alarm for a half hour before I was supposed to meet up, but it was maybe an hour before that when Zee sent me an ‘override’ channel request. The interface tells people if you’re asleep, and so when you send them an override, you’re deliberately waking them up. I don’t remember this conversation at all, but reviewed it later from my ever-present internal log to