Touchstone 1 - Stray

gave me an unexpectedly amused look. “I thought it was something like that. Just consider the alternative, if you hadn’t been able to stop it.” She gestured for me to lie down, adding: “You can make the cover opaque, if the light bothers you. Get some sleep.”
    It was a fair point. We would have all died. Zee definitely knows how to quash signs of self-pity.
    I figured out how to make the cover opaque, but dozed more than slept until after we’d taken off because the Ddura just wouldn’t shut up, though it calmed down a lot. Even worse would have been if everyone had died except for me. I don’t know if I would have been able to cope with that. As it is, I’m not sure that I can cope with what I did totally by accident. Every time I try and think through the consequences of that ‘security clearance’ my mind runs away.
    I must have needed more sleep than I realised, since when Zee woke me up again we were back on Tare. And then it was more scans in medical, and a long attempt to describe exactly what I’d done and thought after I touched the platform. My sleep patterns are totally messed up, but until I have something scheduled, I guess it doesn’t matter what shift I’m awake during. Other than the medical scans, I’ve stayed in my room, just writing and trying not to think of everyone dropping dead in front of me because it hadn’t occurred to me to try touching the platform.
    Change
    Mara came by to tell me the results of the scans on the Setari who were on the Muina mission. Aether has the same effect on them now that it does on me. Just those four squads, though. It still attacks anyone who doesn’t have ‘security clearance’.
    “How are big arguments going?”
    “Lively. I doubt they’ll change the scheduling of the next mission, but there’s a good chance they’ll alter the numbers. It’s all very well to talk of taking things slowly, but whoever says that also fully expects that they’ll be included.” She pulled a face. “And that’s only in KOTIS. It will be impossible to keep this from going public for long, and then we’ll be factoring in a thousand special interest groups and the media. Muina is such an emotive issue.”
    “Can’t imagine Tarens actually living Muina. Never go outside.”
    “A huge adjustment,” she agreed, kicking me lightly for the teasing. “Though I agree that some of those insisting on joining the next mission are going to find all that horizon a challenge. The Setari have the benefit of environment training, but other parts of KOTIS aren’t nearly so prepared.”
    “Looked like the leaves were turning. Will be very pretty.”
    She didn’t know what I meant, and we spoke for a while about Autumn and Winter – Tare doesn’t seem to have seasons beyond stormy and really stormy – and then about the potential pressure on the Setari of trying to work on two different planets. All of the squads which went to Muina yesterday are on rotation tomorrow, and the next day is the start of the extended mission. Mara warned me that while Third and/or Fourth will certainly be sent, they’re likely to use other squads to support them.
    “Taarel and Ruuel are both people you can be confident with. If something happens that worries you or makes you uncomfortable, overcome this tendency to keep it to yourself. Object if there’s things you don’t want to do.”
    At that particular moment I was watching Ghost walk across the room behind Mara, and hoping she didn’t turn around. I wonder what she made of my expression.
    “Will object if think will make difference,” I said, reasonably enough. I didn’t want to have a needle in my spine, after all, but was sure that if I’d objected it would have meant being stuck in medical even longer until someone came and explained to me that it was important. “Would you live on Muina, if able?”
    She didn’t answer immediately, then shrugged. “I find it very hard to picture being able to. But it’s certainly nice to know it might one day be an option.”
    Thursday, March 20
    Interlude
    Today I finally tracked down a place where I could buy a new diary: paper products do exist on this world, they’re just rare. It was amazingly expensive, and won’t be delivered before I leave for Muina tomorrow, but I think I’ve enough book left to last. I’m taking this one with me, since we’re ‘packing’ for an extended stay. I’m bringing my old school backpack, which amuses me a lot.
    They’ve assigned